Five Ways a Great Sex Life can Earn you Money

The Growing Trend of Sexy Income

 

Step aside, Uber. Did you know a good sex life can help you earn that extra side money everyone is looking for these days? We're joined today by Alana who has taken on the role of our special sexy financial consultant and we'll go over five ways that help you use your awesome sex life to make a bit of dough.  

 

 

 

 

Get a Part-Time Job in an Adult (Sex) Shop

 

Looking to grab an extra paycheque from a part-time job to supplement your income? Working at a sex shop might be the best thing for you. “People looking for a small job to add some extra salary don’t naturally think about looking for work at a sex shop, but it’s actually a pretty good solution if you’re open to that and not too shy about working there.” Alana goes on to add about the versatility and benefits of working at such a place: “The opening hours of  sex shop are usually such that they can easily compliment a day job without much conflict, in most cases these places are open only on certain weeknights, afternoons and weekends. The shifts can be flexible and easily fit around your day job, especially if you don’t mind staying up late” Alana goes on to mention that it’s a perfect supplement to people that have part-time day jobs or work on their own as freelancers / contractors. Having a good sex life is key as these places will look for people that are knowledgeable about sex techniques, fetishes and toys and are able to make recommendations and help out clients.

"There is actually a shortage in certain areas as owners struggle to find people that have the necessary softskills and the welcoming, mature demeanor that the new brand of sex shops are looking for in attracting today’s clients. Unlike online retailers, clients at a sex shop will often turn to the sales clerks for advice and guidance. They can't just hire anyone.”  The soft benefits of this job include a fun and relatively low stress environment and some good fringe benefits: “Most places will also offer their employees discounts, referral rewards and even commission on certain item sales. But be prepared to meet all kinds of interesting people!”.

 

But it doesn’t stop at the brick and mortar businesses. In certain more remote areas, distributors located far away or cross-border look for people to carry and stock their items as part of home businesses; either as drop-shippers answering to online requests or as a representative to hold occasional sales in the community. If you live in one of these areas, you can always reach out to major stores in the nearest city and see if you can be of help for a small cut of the profits.

Monetize a Strong Social Media Presence

Social media can offer several opportunities to gain income, but not all of them are as easy as they looks. 

 

To begin, there are paying jobs such a moderators on certain forums or discussion boards. You need to be careful as not all sites pay for moderators (some are only volunteer-based) but in the online adult industry, more moderation is needed due to the nature of the content and so greater opportunities exist. “In the industry today, most of the checks and balances such as screening uploaded images and videos are done by a human. The amount of moderation on certain adult sites can be quite impressive and most companies are willing to pay to keep good moderators around. Discussion forums may do so as well, provided the moderator is knowledgeable and able to foster discussion and provide information to the users; so having a solid sex life at home and an open attitude is pretty much a pre-requisite”   Jobs can pay about $15-17 and the hours are usually flexible and done from a home computer, which is perfect for someone looking to make money without the need to commute or respond to a rigid schedule.

 

Blogs on general social publishing sites or writing on adult-themed sites also represents a potential source of income. “If you are able to build a blog and a strong following, you can easily monetize it with advertisements where you get paid for clicks. Some of the most popular adult blog subjects involve writing about your own experiences,  how you’re balancing your sex life with marriage and/or kids, or writing your own erotica. The more authentic and relatable the content is, the more people will want to read, share and interact with you, creating a strong audience base”. The money made through ad revenue may take time to accumulate, but as Alana pointed out it does add up, and eventually it will be significant enough to cash out or can be used to make online purchases. Driving traffic to your blog should be the focus, and don’t overdo it with having ads spatter all over the page. Other sites may look for guest writers and pay you for your pieces, however these are harder to get and difficult if you don’t have some sort of background in professional writing or editing. “If you’re a freelance writer, it’s already a good start but in most cases you need to have your own successful blog first as a kind of portfolio to show off. If the larger sites like what they see, they may bring you on and pay for you contributions, but it’s much harder to go this route.”

 

 

 

A new job that has been gaining momentum is the social media influencer, and nowhere is it more influential than in adult products.  “There is nothing today preventing you from opening a social media account (under a screen name if desired for confidentiality) and populating it with pictures or posts promoting products to your following (respecting the rules of the platform at course). But the hard part is building that following and competing with the others out there doing the same.”  You don’t need to hit Kardashian level to get some companies interested in sending you samples to model and promote via images or posts. Adult toy makers, lingerie companies and others love having others promote their items and then share / promote / retweet this feedback on their own accounts. “Reviews from others look more authentic, interactive and potential buyers may contact the reviewer directly on social media to get more info. It’s becoming the ideal situation for a manufacturer or retailer in this age of social media, especially for more sensitive or discreet products. We’re seeing a trend today where a larger chunks of advertising budget is being diverted towards shaping the brand’s social media influence.”

 

 

Become a Sex Toy Tester

 

OK, so maybe having a full time job as a sex toy reviewer isn’t for you, but this is an area where you can get some good value out of your sexual prowess and willingness to experiment. “With the emergence of social media, sex toy OEMs are counting more than ever on customer reviews and social  media presence. If you build a decent social media following, either on a social platform, blog (see above) or forum you can reach out to several OEMs and be asked to join their distribution list.” One some may pay a small fee for your review or promotional services,  Alana warns that you must disclose such payments in your review. “But just because you’re paid to do the review, doesn’t mean that it isn’t authentic. If you’re not happy with the product or if you don’t want to promote it, you should contact the manufacturer to return the money and explain what you didn’t like about the product so they can use your feedback”. But even if you’re not paid, due to the nature of the product it’s basically yours to keep, so there is an advantage to doing the work free of charge provided you’re given free samples. “As a minimum you’ve basically found a source of free adult toys, which isn’t bad either”

 

 

 

Sell Your Sexy Things and Services

 

Another way to make money is to take to online retailers to sell your adult-themed wares or services. If you are handy in making items or available to offer services like boudoir photography, you can find buyers and a place to sell it “Even on mainstream sites like Etsy, people are selling anything from hand-sewn custom lingerie to BDSM furniture. Having a good sex life can lead you to finding new things and then turning around and selling them to others” As with any adult-themed item, people may be shy to walk in to a store and will prefer to order items online. “Most online buyers are willing to pay a premium for discretion and customization, and this is something anyone handy or creative enough can provide."

 

It doesn’t mean starting from scratch either: "some people make a good income on assembling things like naughty gift baskets for bachelorette parties, birthdays or wedding showers with customized themes, games or messages.” The key to a successful run in an online marketplace is to do your research in pricing, abide by the rules of service (especially in the case of adult-themed items) and don’t sell anything that could dangerous if misused (accidentally or intentionally) like certain BDSM items.

 

 

Make Money as an Adult Model

 

Wait – maybe at first glance you don’t think you needed to reach the level of turning to making porn to make some extra money, but we’re not recommending you to sell yourself out just to make a quick buck. “There are a lot of fun and sexy videos and photos that can be a good activity between you and your spouse and posted discretely on platforms like PornHub and monetized.”   Alana alludes to examples of fun activities couples could do and then transform them into something that generates hits and income on such a site.

 

 

“It doesn’t have to be hardcore and it can very discreet, where people will not even know it’s you. You don’t need to show your face if you don’t, and sites like PornHub even suggest to wear masks if you're shy. There are niche interests that generate lots of hits, such as having your spouse film in a voyeuristic manner in your lingerie or undressing. For ultimate discretion, a BDSM video is easy to make where you can wear a head-to-toe costume or mask, and will not expose you much depending on the props used.  Alana pointed out an example of a latex catsuit bondage video that generated over 10,000 hits.

 

“These sites will pay you a percentage on each time your video generates a view or ad hit. Shop around and see what is most advantageous for you, but sites like PornHub get billions of hits per year, so even though the amount appears tiny, it can add up quickly if you use the right keywords and make the right type of video.” Most sites will only pay out once a minimum is reached, so it may be a while before you see any payout. But overall it’s a fun experience for couples wanting to be a bit more out there and it will certainly can give your pockets a boost.

 

 

Time to hustle out there, my dear readers :0)

 

- BSYNH

- AR

5 Sexy Things Every Couple Should do in the Bedroom - That Isn't Sex

Five Successful Bedroom Habits of Couples With Great Sex Lives

Having a great sex life isn't just about having great sex. For most couples where both partners respond as being extremely satisfied with their sex life there are a lot of things they do together besides actual hanky-panky. A solid sex life isn't built on only a few minutes of heavy breathing and thrusting

So what exactly are those things you may ask? Well here are the top five:

Talking about sexual fantasies.

No surprise here but communication is top of the list. Partners that (a) talk about sex together and (b) know their partner's sexual fantasies and preferences consistently respond with having the most satisfying sex lives. The goal here is not necessarily to act on a fantasy, but fantasy is an important indicator as to sexual preferences giving precious insight to the other partner.

 

One tip: keep it within your relationship and don't be too specific about what you're dreaming of. For example, your partner may not take kindly to knowing one of your fantasies includes doing it on the photocopier with the new mailroom intern.

Take sex lightly, joke about sex.

As a continuation of the first point, couples that take time to joke about or make fun at the expense of their sex life are the ones that usually show the most satisfaction in their sex life. Joking or having fun keeps the mood light and removes stress such as performance anxiety. Couples with a lighter approach to commenting about sex with each other have a tendency of doing it more frequently and responding better to any feedback their partner may have. Even if things may not always go as planned during a sexual encounter, it's comforting to know that you and your partner can laugh things off. Flirting with your partner through dirty jokes or the odd friendly ribbing here and there will keep sex with your partner fun, fresh and light-hearted.

Browse or shop for sex toys together.

Whether you actually buy the sex toys or not, whether it is in a store or just online while cuddling together with an iPad, shopping for sex toys together is a great couples-building exercise. When combined with the other two points above, browsing everything from a toy you've fantasized about to an oddball curiosity you can joke about with your partner, you will both feel closer after this simple but fun exercise.

Gift sexy and show gratitude sexy.

Couples that bought each other gifts for the sole purpose of sexual relations consistently seem to have the upper hand of better sex lives. Gifts for sex can be used to prolong or make foreplay more exciting and also make a partner feel sexier, or in the other sense, more aroused. Findings show the price tag doesn't really factor in the equation; the fact of simply getting an adult-themed gift for your partner has a way of bonding the couple together as having a strong sexual relationship. As for the receiver of the gift, reciprocating with sexy behaviour (such as modelling a sexy lingerie gift or using the toy immediately) were seen as the responses that solicited the greatest satisfaction from the giver. 

 

Watch porn together.

While you may each have your own personal tastes when it comes to erotica, couples that felt comfortable watching a few short adult clips together deemed that their sex life was more satisfying. And what's not to love? Browsing a safe and relatively adult entertainment site like PornHub.com together with your spouse can be fun, exciting and even give you a few new ideas to try. Take turns or try to pick search topics together to keep the material balanced and enticing for both.

-BSYNH

Three Moves Hotter Than Oral Sex

Don't feel like going down? Here are three super sexy alternatives that will make your partner happy you said "no" to that blowjob.

 

 

Getting asked (or strongly hinted) to perform oral sex by your partner can give mixed emotions if you're not in the mood to give your tongue a workout or ready to put a banana down your throat. This often becomes a sore point for couples and can lead to unwanted resentment or feelings of rejection. To avoid the awkwardness of declining your partner's request here are three hot things you can do instead to give them the satisfaction they want.

 

 

 

 

 

Use a toy instead.

 

The good news for you is it's 2017 and that means sex toys have come a long way. How good are they? Most are better in terms of range of motion, able to do more things than your tongue and suction could ever do and usually for much longer. Keep a toy handy and after starting off on your own, call it in for backup to finish the job and bring your lips elsewhere on their body.

 

 

Dominate them into masturbating themselves.

 

Pull a power move and flip the script. Instead of giving oral, channel your inner dominant and get them to spread out on a bed or kneel on the floor to masturbate for your viewing pleasure. You will give the orders to start or stop, speed up or slow down and apply a punishment using a belt or a crop if they're not doing it to your liking or if it seems like they're enjoying it too much. Use a scarf or necktie as a blindfold so all they can do is focus on your voice and commands. Enjoy the game as well and play with yourself if so desired. My bonus advice for any women out there wanting to reach master dominatrix level and really blow his mind? Take off your panties and stuff it in his mouth as a gag.

 

 

Give a pre-emptive naughty handjob surprise.

 

Not in the mood to hanky-panky after the date and you're pretty sure it's what your partner is expecting? Surprise them before the date is over in the back row of the theatre or in the car while in a secluded corner of the parking lot with a love session from your fingers or hand. Lift their skirt and split the panties to the side, or, unbuckle and reach in, and let them enjoy the naughtiness of doing something where you could get caught. The excitement of it all will overshadow any oral you could have possibly given back in the boring ol' bedroom.

 

 

 

Chins up my dear readers :0)

 

-BSYNH

 

 

 

 

Renovating for Sex

Top Five Home Renovation Areas That Will Improve Your Sex Life

We all know the standard renovations always help increase the resale value of your home: new kitchens, updated bathrooms and upgrades to insulation for energy efficiency is what you will see on any home improvement or DIY renovation speciality channel.

 

Besides these, are there any must-do renovations that can help improve your sex life or the intimacy you share with your spouse? Here are the top five renovations we recommend you explore to give your sex life a boost,


Privacy Upgrades

 

Enough cannot be said about the boost given to your sex life when you and your spouse have a private, secluded space to relax and unwind. Simple upgrades like a good door lock to the bedroom door, light-killing curtains and upgraded soundproofing in the walls can make all the difference in turning a standard bedroom into a private boudoir. Knowing someone can't accidentally walk in on you or the kids can't hear you in the adjacent room gives you the much-needed separation to enjoy some private adult time with your spouse. If your bedroom doesn't fit the bill or is past the point of a simple upgrade fix, you may want to look into converting another space in your home into a naughty room.

Add Hidden Storage

Do you have intimate accessories, films, literature or toys that you'd like to keep close by but not too easy to find or stumble upon? There are several small DIY projects that can be done to add hidden storage features to an existing room. Or, have your contractor think about creating more professional-level hiding spots next time before you do a room renovation or make window upgrades. Having hiding spots for your intimates will make it easier to keep the toys handy when you need them and make sure you suffer the embarrassment if someone accidentally looks into that old shoebox at the back of the closet.

 

 

Setting the Mood for Intimacy

Décor and foreplay can only go so far into ushering in a night of good sex - not much will happen if you and your spouse are uncomfortable, like being way too hot or humid. More serious upgrades like air conditioning may be required to help set the right conditions to get you to be all over each other even when there is a heatwave going on outside. Other changes can help your bedroom ambiance be more romantic and appealing like adding dimmable lighting to set the right lighting level when it's time to play.

Invest in a Master Bath or Ensuite

Having a bathroom ensuite to your bedroom holds many benefits. First, many people (especially men) like shower / rinse off after sex. So having the bathroom just a quick hop away avoids the walk of shame down the hall to use the hopefully unoccupied communal shower.

 

Besides this, having a sprawling ensuite with a large shower or tub for two has its benefits as well. In all, about 56% of couples have had shower sex at some point together while most couples are OK with showering together for whatever reason. Keep hanky-panky in mind when choosing your next bathroom renovation layout and you won't be disappointed.

Secret Goodies

Are you and your spouse into more intricate play or do you want to use your bedroom to be more adventurous? There are several DIY hacks or professional upgrades that can accommodate the needs of BDSM or fantasy play: everything from hidden tie-downs and anchor points to stocking the room with full-on dungeon furniture. Research the internet or community fetish forums for ideas, or find a kinky local contractor who can help take your space to the next level of your wildest dreams.

 

Happy renovating everyone   :0)

 

-BSYNH 

 

 

 

Newbie? How To Make a Pornstar-level Sex Tape

Want to Share? The Essentials to Making, Sharing and Enjoying an Awesome Sex Tape

We spoke in our previous article about the rebirth of the sex tape in the age of social media and the surprising shift towards more mainstream adult sites. For couples that get the thrill out of being filmed for others to see, we have some tips from our resident undercover industry insider "Lana" to get you started easily, safely and maximizing your fun.

First, choose a reputable site to upload and understand their terms of use

 

Before getting started, research what site you would like to use to "air" your movie. Be sure to read all terms and conditions and make all the necessary registration steps. There may be important information on what is and not allowed and what advantages or rights you have over your content.

 

Lana's opinion is "it's important to shop around and find the right fit for you. Some things that certain sites may impose on you might put you off." Here's what to look for:

 

1) Research: Be sure to use a site that is reputable and will not bombard you with ads and/or force you to install malware-ridden plugins to perform simple tasks such as uploads. Avoid sites that ask for too much personal information and ask to store credit card numbers for suspicious reasons. Also there are enough good quality free sites so there is no need to pay to create a basic membership.

 

2) Ease of use: Check that you can remove your content quickly if so desired. You can even  test out with a sample, non-compromising video first and see how easy it is to upload, publish and then delete.

 

3)  Look for perks: a site like PornHub.com (warning NSFW!!) meets the first two criteria and also pays you a commission of their ad revenue for views of your video. Sure, you get pennies at first and the first payout only happens at $100, but cash is cash and not bad for investing in a free account.

 

 

 

 

You need to plan out the filming basics in advance

 

Before you start filming, you will need to think about a few things first.

 

"Where to film is one of the most important choices to make. You will need a place that has great lighting, avoiding shadows. You may need to bring in extra lamps. You will need to choose the best spot where you will be able to perform the acts you want to show off on camera.

 

You will also need to think about where the camera goes, and if you don't want people to recognize your house in the background, a basic level of sanitation to the background is needed to change the look such as hiding personal items, hanging different curtains, or bringing in props."

Pamper and primp yourself, have fun looking the part

"Being on camera allows an escape, it's a chance to play and look like a different version of your usual self and have fun with it". This is definitely true as appearing in front of the lens gives you the chance (dare we say excuse?) to play with your appearance and experiment with your look. How often do you or your spouse go to a higher level of intentional detailing and primping just to have sex? Probably not a lot. The premise of getting dolled up for a sex tape opens the opportunity to do this and have a whole lot of fun in the process. Not only will you look the part, but do it right and you'll feel unbelievable attractive as well too.

"Don't discount spending time on your skin, hair or the use of makeup: even a basic DIY online tutorial can help make you look wild and sexy like never before. I can say it's definitely a must in the business and the trick to looking and feeling confident and sexy when performing."

 

Take some time to do basic scripting / dress rehearsals

 

While you can go with just live action recording of a sex session, a fantasy or fictional 'storyline' is what turns your boring voyeur sex tape in a full-fledged porno quality production.

"Ok, you don't need to write your movie lines and rehearse but discuss as a minimum a basic timechart and so-called plot idea with your partner, You need to what the premise is and in what sequence you both want things to unfold" says Lana. "A good amateur sex tape / adult video lasts at least 5 minutes and never goes longer than 10. You will have to end with either an ejaculation or a strong, loud orgasm. It's tradition and what someone watching your video will expect to 'end' the story. But besides that it's up to your imagination, just don't do too much talking and don't take too long to get into the action and showing some skin. You'll lose viewers after thirty seconds if things aren't sexy and interesting. People aren't there watching it for the storytelling and character development. Have fun with it!"

 

Part of that fun is acting out the scenes while the camera is rolling. It's good to talk to your partner about what you want to do to make sure things go smoothly and if you're alone, make breaks to be able to change the camera angles.

 

"Yes, you can go with just raw sex action, it's easiest. The one advantage to coming up with a fictional porn-style premise is you can assume a role, a character. Your pornstar alter-ego allows you to do things with your partner that you wouldn't normally do in real life. You can be rougher, innocent or downright nasty. Have fun dressing up and talking the part. Go wild with things you would never wear, say or do with your partner, now is the time. Be bad. Be good. Be what you want to be. It's hot and it opens the door to exciting sex exploration with them."

 

 

 

Set your "studio" up before filming

 

Lana quickly explains that it's hard to film everything in one continuous shot, and in any case it can be boring to watch when you have only one camera angle.

 

"If you're using a tripod, you will need to find at least two places in the room to setup the camera and move it in between 'scenes'. One setup should be zoomed out for action shots of the both of you, the bed, etc and you will need at least one for filming the action up close in a comfortable position (we're talking mouth, nipples and genitals). Although it might seem awkward to stop and start, once you edit the shots together with even the most basic video editing software, the change in camera angle and zoom makes the video more watchable" 

 

 

Choose a nudity level you're both comfortable with

 

"Nudity and the amount of time your face is on camera is up to you" explains Lana. "Couples that are more open and public will go completely naked and won't care if they are recognizable. Part of the fun in being naked is starting off clothed and getting undressed on camera."

 

Luckily there are options for those that don't want to be in their birthday suit or are afraid of getting recognized. "Couples that want to be more discreet or are embarrassed of being discovered have ways to get around it too. The video is short enough that you can easily change your appearance by using different clothing, wigs, masks, aggressive makeup techniques, temporary tattoos or donning fetish gear. I recommend to anyone who doesn't want to be recognized to play out a light kink scene and invest in fitted outfits and masks that cover up your distinguishable features. It's hot to dress up and you will be pretty much unrecognizable. It is actually not that uncommon to see these types of videos posted so you'll fit right in."

Have fun filming your movie

"Once you're ready to go, the most important thing is to have fun - I cannot express how important this is" exclaims Lana.

Being on camera and loving it is the essential part of being the pornstar. "It will show on the screen if you're not having fun. You will appear awkward and your facial expressions will seem off. Don't talk too much (a common symptom of nervousness) but be sure to make the right amount of noise when banging it out doing oral. You will have to be loud so it sounds good on camera. Just go with what feels natural and let it out vocally, there is no need to play it up, especially the climax at the end. Just let the feeling drive you and let it come out."


There is homework to do before you upload

Lana gives some tips reminding you that there is work to be done when you are essentially the star, cameraperson, director and producer of your little short video.

"Edit the video in a way that keeps the action moving. When the camera is fixed, you need to rely on the video editing to make your movie look more dynamic. You should avoid static, zoomed out scenes where the thrusting or whatever is happening is only a small part of the shot. There should be enough changes between zoomed-out shots and close-ups, between showing the man and the woman."

"Oh yeah and make sure you're sober when uploading. It's OK to be tipsy when filming if it's more fun for you (no judgement from me), but you definitely want to have all your wits with you when uploading to the internet to avoid doing something stupid".

 

The last tips from Lana before you delve into the world of cyberporn stardom are pretty straightforward: "Give your amateur movie a good title; nothing cheesy but be descriptive with the right keywords so it accurately describes your video in a fun and sexy way. It should be uploaded into the right category as well. Finally, be sure to pick a good thumbnail(s) as the movie clip preview for the website; the image is pretty much what will get people to choose to watch your video."

 

One final warning from Lana before we go: "Don't be surprised if this becomes the first of many videos. Newbie couples get surprised by how fun it is to make an amateur sex video and what a rush it is to see yourself on a big name site then seeing the hits pile up as people view what you created. Have fun watching it with your partner and checking out other videos for curiosity and new ideas."  

 

 

 

-BSYNH

-LL

 

 

 

Forget the Sex Tape: Five Better Uses For Video in The Bedroom

A DIY sex tape is just the start. Try these ideas if you want to have fun while the camera is rolling.

 

A hot topic these past years has been the subject of sex tapes: whether it be unauthorized leaks of various high-profile stars, a way to reward YouTube followers , revenge porn or romcom movies on the subject (thanks for the laughs Cameron Diaz) it seems almost everyone out their is busy filming themselves doing it.

 

We've brought in our industry expert / insider who goes undercover from her real life by the name of Lana to get her advice on what is really going on in the studios errrr bedrooms of the nation.

"Well, for starters sex tapes have now become known as the ultimate selfie" she states. "A whole new generation is growing up and dating in the Snapchat age, where first base is now a bra pic. The perceptions of what is acceptable to do in front of the camera and what to share publicly for this new wave that is becoming of age is completely different than all those who came before them."

 

And right she is. Sex on video (i.e. porn) has exploded thanks to the internet, but there has a been a shift of videotaped sexual acts being reserved only for sites and communities of perverts in the seedy underbelly of the dark web and has become more mainstream. A recent survey showed that one in three women know watch online porn in a regular fashion, and stats from sites such as PornHub confirm that at least 26% of its global viewers are in fact women, with Brazil reaching the heights of 35%.

 

"Let's face it, there is an excitement to being able to watch yourself in a private, intimate act - and it's just as fun to know you're being recorded by the all-seeing-eye while performing it. It's hot." Lana continues with solid advice for current married couples: "Most married couples today dated and hit the peak of their sexual exploration in the time before Instagram and selfies. What's better than looking at what's out there and embracing modern technology to rekindle and relaunch your passion for each other? It's always god to find new ways to flirt and explore with your partner, if you've been married for many years"  

So what exactly can we prescribe as a video aphrodisiac? Have a look at some of the ideas below. 

Make a sexumentary with your partner

OK, so not everyone is ready to hit the screen as a moaning, groaning, porn star. Yes, sex tapes can be awkward to film and sometimes awkward to watch. The first question is to ask yourself what you want to do with the sex tape? Would you actually watch it and keep it? If you realize you'd want to start small with something a bit more watchable, make a sexumentary (sex documentary) with your partner. Basically, interview each other in a provocative way on the most personal and taboo subjects you can think of - it will be sexy, fun and can get your motor revving while maybe even having a few laughs. It's something you can hang onto and won't be too shy to go back and look at years later.

You can film it together sitting or lying down, or taking turns being behind the camera, or split up with some questions on a note card and record each part separately then put it together at the end to watch ensemble. It can be as explicit as you want it to be, and no need to be naked - you can be dressed chill or at various stages of provocative undress.

 

Some popular topics of conversation or "interview questions" are:

• What was the best / favorite time you both had sex and why?
• Best vacation sex and where?
• Dirtiest thing you both ever did
• Your spouse's best move on you
• Any hidden talents your spouse doesn't know about yet?
• Favorite body parts and what to do with them
• Do your best impression of your orgasm face (or your partner's)
• Sex bloopers: remember any times things didn't go exactly as planned for you two?

"A sexumentary isn't just sexy and fun while filming it, it's also a great souvenir of some of the sexy memories that will never make it into the family photo album. You're not going to be young forever; so without going full porno you can use video as a way to keep those personal and intimate memories alive."

  

 

Film your boudoir photoshoot

 

Are you planning on taking a boudoir photoshoot at some point? Check with your photographer if they can have an assistant film the experience for you (or worst case allow you to bring a camera-savvy best friend along).

 

Thanks to the boudoir shoot setup, lighting, poses and makeup will be perfect for filming and you can generate a sharp "behind the scenes" video. If your boudoir photoshoot is a gift for your spouse, this makes for a perfect bonus feature to show along with your pictures. Not only will you look smoking hot, you can have the cameraperson ask you questions or just talk on your own during the filming about your spouse, what look you're trying to achieve with your poses and what you hope their reaction will be.

 

Your spouse getting to watch a video of you smouldering in various lingerie poses? I think you'll have two thumbs up.   

Join the fun on adult sites

Wait, did you just suggest to married couples to join an "adult" ... i.e. porn ... site?

 

"Hold on, porn sites have changed a lot since the old days. While yes they're still definitely about explicit content, amateur communities are popping up everywhere and driving better sites where they are much cleaner and have become more mainstream compared to even just 10 years ago"

 

Yes, good point - definitely the landscape has changed. Sites like PornHub have succeeded by adopting an open, free environment that remains safe and respectful for amateurs. Loosely based on a YouTube style video upload and search philosophy, PornHub will pay registered (for free) amateurs a portion of ad revenue in $100 increments when their videos are viewed online.

 

The company itself is anything but shady: it runs open and transparently and has embarked on socially responsible endeavours such as donating to breast cancer, helping the environment by planting trees and recently offering to help shovel out Boston from a major snow storm. "It is a far cry from the sites run from off-continent servers that bombard you with pop-up windows, lewd content and ask non-stop for credit card numbers"

The surge in use by married couples on newer-style adult sites as both viewers and contributors of content is surprising, but not uncommon. PornHub received 23 billion worldwide visits (yes billion) in just 2016 alone, racking up a total of  4.6 billion (yes, again billion) hours of porn viewed on screens across the globe. Overall, people have uploaded and watched over 92 billion videos. Popular is an understatement.

"With the things being posted on Snapchat, Instagram and other social media sites these days, people's perceptions have changed towards taking part in uploading sex tapes or amateur porn as they have already put so much of themselves out there. By the time the new generation has entered the mature stages of adulthood, chances are they've already shared intimate videos or photos with someone for viewing pleasure. Yes, part of it is narcissism, but we can see that attitudes are changing and there is something hot, exciting and - dare I say- normal about being more open and public with nudity and what goes on in your sex life.

Even if you are shy, there is nothing preventing you from joining in by hiding your true identity in these videos and concealing your account with an online alter-ego. It is easy to make yourself unrecognizable, but you and your spouse will always know and have this sexy secret that is just a search engine click away. Couples looking to add excitement are drawn to that."

 

Lana is right in that statistics show that it is definitely something that more couples are crossing off their so-called sex bucket list and continues to trend upwards in popularity.

 

"It comes back to what I mentioned before: why are you and your spouse interested in pulling out the video camera in the first place? If you're OK just filming and deleting right after or keeping it private, that's fine. But for most people who setup the camera they want the satisfaction and excitement that comes from knowing that other people will be watching them, provided they are not discovered and embarrassed. That is what these sites now offer and why they are booming in popularity."

Explore Cybersex

Most couples in their thirties or later have missed the social window of sexting during dating phases and are still cybersex virgins with their partner.

"There is enough technology out there now to allow you to be intimate your spouse anytime, anywhere." It has become so prolific, and quite frankly, awesome, that psychologists are becoming alarmed by the high rate of cybersex addiction.

"Cybersex is great and so easy because of its accessibility" continues Lana "addiction isn't a problem if you're remaining monogamous; if your spouse is into cyber, let them do it with you and see how fun it is. The advantage is really that unlike physical sex, you can do it literally anywhere at any time, all that limits it are your inhibitions."

Whether you're on a business trip across the continent or coinciding your lunch breaks for a virtual quickie, there are many fun ways to use the video chat services already built into your phone, tablet or computer for cybersex. If you're up for taking it one step further, products have come out that allow remote vibrator control via smartphone apps so you can make your partner walk the walk while you talk the talk from the other side of the globe. 

Give the camera to a professional ... and we mean that type of professional

Are you pulling in someone to help spice things up or make foreplay a bit more interesting? What can make a soft threesome even hotter? Bring in a video camera. While an escort, stripper or your local professional dominatrix will not want to appear on camera, they are usually more than OK with filming you and your spouse. If you're looking at making it a night to remember, why not actually have the video to prove it?

 

"One of the hottest things I heard done was a fellow BDSM worker who was asked by a couple to play and film them in the dungeon she worked at. She 'forced' the couple to do dirty sex acts on each other for her viewing pleasure while she videotaped them and played with herself. How hot must it have been to have the lens on you while being made to do all these naughty things by someone else? And how hot must it be to be able to play back that video afterwards and hear her voice again while seeing yourselves acting out a real-life porn situation? " 

 

 

 

 

Here's hoping you can make good use of that video camera (may want to be careful to not mix up your home movies with your kid's baseball finals though).

 

Camera ready ... annnnnd ... action!

 

 

-BSYNH

 

-LL

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

Top Five Reasons Couples Buy Sex Toys

Why adult toys are definitely a part of a healthy married sex life


Let's say it all together now: SEX TOYS. S-E-X ... T-O-Y-S. Good. Now breathe in deep.

Yes, this is a subject that for some reason makes married couples blush ... as if anyone who dares own an adult pleasure toy should be embarrassed to admit it. Why? We're not exactly sure what social pressures dictate this but it's just common practice to keep the subject under wraps, sometimes even from our own partner.

So across the nation we keep our prized guilty possessions at the back of sock drawers, tucked away in old gym bags or locked boxes, on that high up shelf in the closet or in the nether-reaches of the back end of a bedside table drawer. We all have them, we all use them but we feel the need to keep them proverbially buried in the backyard like Poochy's prized bone (no pun intended).

Let's face it - sex toys have been a part of human sexuality since our evolutionary ancestors started carving dildos out of rocks way back in the Paleolithic era. Not much has changed from our caveman days. Fast forward to last year when Forbes reported that the global sex toy industry was worth over 15 billion dollars. Sexual aids or toys are a natural part of human sexuality and by the looks of it, are not losing any popularity. And who's money is fuelling this burgeoning industry? Well you don't reach fifteen billion dollars worth by selling blow-up dolls to 40-year-old virgins or gag gifts for bachelorette parties. Married couples of all ages are spending serious coin on accessorizing their sex life. Here are five reasons why more and more sex toys are finding their ways into the bedrooms of regular, average married couples:

They can add new or additional sensations to your usual sexual encounter.

One of the main benefits of using a sex toy is that the toy can stimulate you in certain zones in specific ways while your partner (or yourself) works other areas. Areas like nipples, the anus, clitoris for women and testicles for men are goldmines for new sensations and stimulation during a sexual encounter. At the end of the day, a toy may have the ability to maximize the stimulation of these areas without getting tired or distracted by other things that are going on. Toys like vibrators, nipple clamps, anal beads and ball stimulators can be applied during an encounter to enhance what your partner is already doing. Certain couples-friendly vibrators can be worn during vaginal intercourse to provide concurrent stimulation of other erogenous areas.

 

One important thing to note is that the new or additional stimulation need not be purely physical. Adding a blindfold, handcuffs or similar types of sensory deprivation / restraint toys adds a strong physiological element of power role playing, be it via light BDSM scenarios or role reversal / role playing. 

 

 

They add novelty.

There is nothing better to stimulate a stagnant sex life than introducing something new; and more than not the easiest way is a trip to the sex shop. Whether it be for exploring a new and exciting fantasy, looking for an exotic toy to "spice things up" or embarking in a new fetish, toys are a great and fun way to instantly change your sexual encounters.

 

Certain toys can be used to make your partner appear "new" to you: these can be costumes, body-shaping lingerie or generally any plethora of items that change the way they look or feel to the touch. Other toys are useful in adding novelty to the roll-out of the encounter: they can be structured games or quickie gimmicks like sex dice, consumables like chocolate paint or massage oils, or other such things to spark different ways of intimately interacting with your partner. Finally, there are the physical toys that can turn your bedroom into a sexual gymnasium like ramps, wedges or slings: these can be used to add fun new sexual positions or techniques to your otherwise been-there-done-that usual routine.

They usually enhance performance.

As a starter, sex toys already serve as an aphrodisiac in that they can inject excitement and arousal via novelty as per the above. There are several toys that are proven to also give the user better sexual performance. For example, ribbed condoms add more pleasure and can give rise to stronger orgasms in women. Cock rings can help men maintain harder erections for longer periods of time. Dildos, extenders or strap-ons can increase depth of penetration if so desired. Other more high-tech lubricants and body oils can increase skin sensitivity or make erogenous zones tingle with additional excitement during intercourse.

There are many great options out there but be sure to look and shop around and read as many impartial, preferably 3rd party reviews on the toy or product before buying.

We need their help to play by ourselves.

While Dr Jen Landa went as far as saying we should masturbate in public at any time of day, before you buy those vibrating panties you may want to try playing with some simpler devices on your own in the comfort of your home first. Reasons for masturbating may vary from an out-of-town partner to making up for a spouse with a slower sex drive, but one thing is certain and that is there are several benefits to going solo...  but well, the options are somewhat limited if all you're using is only your own two hands.

 

 

As mentioned above, different toys can give different sensations and can help you discover new techniques, erogenous zones and even help you train for building up longer, more intense climaxes so you're in tip-top shape for when it's prime time with your spouse. Check out a local retailer to see what interests you and buy something for yourself, experiment and then decide if it'll be your little secret or something you want to introduce to your partner.

 

It's never been easier to order your toys discretely.

Part of the huge surge in the sex toy industry can at least be attributed to the rise of discrete order-to-home internet shopping in the early 2000s. While we still see the benefits of walking into a reputable sex shop to ask questions and benefit from the experience of the sales staff, discretion is still the number one priority for most people when buying an adult toy, so online shopping fits the bill.

 

Most sites nowadays are excellent; there is a wide variety of items with detailed listings, a lot of pictures, product descriptions and reviews with a lot of good information out there. Bonus feature? Most places will ship in a discrete brandless packaging and some will even bill your credit card under a pseudo corporate name, so you're covered if you're afraid you may be morally judged by your postman or VISA rep. And YES it is hot to shop with your partner. Want to ease them into the experience? Get them to run a naughty jar with you for a few months and use the proceeds to buy something that you and your partner discuss and shop around for over time.

Happy playtime everyone.

-BSYNH