Listen up Gentlemen: Our Tips on How to Give Your Woman Lingerie

In the mood to buy her something sexy? Here are our do's and dont's

With Valentine's Day only two weeks away, many men are scrambling to find the perfect gift for their spouse. It's easy for thoughts to turn to something naughtier ... but when and how can gifting lingerie to your spouse be done best? Here are our tips if you're looking at adding to your bombshell's boudoir drawer:

Timing is everything - don't let it be perceived as an inappropriate gift

While most women surveyed liked it when their spouse bought them lingerie, there were certain times when the gift was deemed inappropriate, unsatisfactory or even self-serving. For example, the worst holidays identified to gift your spouse lingerie (especially if it was the only gift) were: on her birthday, Mother's Day, Christmas and on your wedding anniversary. Lingerie was best perceived as a gift on Valentine's Day (so you can breathe a sigh of relief if that was on your on shopping list) but again most women would feel slightly to moderately disappointed if that was the only gift for them.

So when do women actually prefer receiving lingerie? The answer was not on any particular holiday or event - the number one response was "for no reason / surprise", and to be more specific most women preferred to receive lingerie as part of a hot date or overnight getaway.

Pick Something Flattering That Fits Well

When selecting lingerie for their spouse men can make two major mistakes: picking a style that their spouse doesn't like / does not suit their body type, or just as bad, getting the wrong sizing.

For choosing a style, it is important to look at your spouse's body type and not the models on the company website or mannequins in stores. Lingerie varies in style and a loose babydoll will have a much different effect than a bustier. While many men buy lingerie with the goal of making their partner look sexy, a woman is looking for lingerie that makes her feel sexy. It's very hard to feel sexy when the style bought doesn't flatter her body type.

If you are not sure what will look best on your spouse, you're better off just going in-store and seek help rather than ordering online and hoping your spouse can pull of the same look as the size zero photo-shopped model on the website. The important thing to bring with you are her sizes.

When it comes to size, be sure to grab your spouse's dress size as well as bra and bottom dimensions. Why multiple measurements? Depending on the person, a medium-sized top may not equal a medium-sized bottom. Raid the formal closet for an example of a dress that looked good on her recently for the size and rummage through the laundry hamper to find her favorite best-fitting bra / panty to grab those measurements of the inner tags.

Accessories Can Make All the Difference

Gifting lingerie doesn't need to stop at the lace and silk. 84% of women surveyed said they appreciated the gift of lingerie more when paired with matching accessories; be it simple bracelets, necklaces, hair clips and even sexy shoes (!!!) to wear with the lingerie set to complete the outfit. The price/value of the accessories wasn't deemed important, but the ability to successfully dress up the lingerie outfit and to use the accessory afterwards as an everyday item was responded as being the biggest factors.

Don't Bother With Gift Cards

A majority of women surveyed felt that getting a gift-card was a cop out. It was determined buying a lingerie set (even if it was the wrong size or style) and including a gift receipt was perceived as a more romantic gesture than simply giving a gift card in a fancy store bag.

Leave a Flirty Note with the Gift

The survey showed that a majority of women liked opening the gift on their own rather than in front of their partner. So if you're planning on leaving the lingerie as a surprise for your loved one to find, you're best to leave a note. Keep the note short, sweet, flirty and tasteful. Use this as an opportunity to remind them of how attractive you think they are, why you bought them this gift and what your reaction will be once you see them wearing this. "Hey sexy, here's a little something for you to slip into when we get back from dinner tonight. I won't be able to stop thinking about you until then. Love, hubby"

Surprise! It's OK to Be Fun

Over 68% of women surveyed said that they would appreciate a lingerie set that was more fun than romantic. The most well-received fun outfits turned out to be sexy superheroes, a rescue or emergency worker (police / fire / nurse) or something naughty that screams "bad girl". But don't get too trashy; the least well-received were porn or adult-industry related getups.

Happy shopping gentlemen. You're welcome :0)

-BSYNH

Question of the day: What to do with Boudoir Photos?

OK, so you're sold on doing a boudoir photoshoot - maybe you'll go with a professional or maybe you'll follow some of the tips in our DIY boudoir photo guide. But now that your clothes are back on, what do you do with the photos? Here are some of the most popular and unconventional ideas to best appreciate the results of your sexy photoshoot.

Check out all the standard photo print ideas.

You'd be surprised on how many options are out there on digital printing websites. Choose from classic options such as tasteful photobooks, enlargements and artistic prints or go fun and wacky with things like printed coffee cups and even pillows (!!!). Ideally, search and pick your print options before taking your photos so you can tailor the shots to the end product. With a bit of planning, you can even make that special someone a season-themed calendar where you're the cover model for every month.

 

Hijack their favorite monthly magazine.

 

Is you significant other a fan of Maxim, Sports Illustrated or Cosmo? With a bit of creativity and some basic photo-editing software skills, intercept their monthly delivery and add some pages you printed yourself of your sizzling boudoir spread. Add personalized text for your spouse to the photo pages in the form of pullquotes just like the real magazines do, and/or print a quick self-interview with yourself about your turn-ons and favorite things to do in bed. For the cover, using full-size decal print paper and borrowing the magazine logo in a photo-editing graphic program can make you the cover model in a flash. Leave the magazine somewhere for them to find (but not accidentally take to work with them, unless you're into that.)

 

Surprise that special someone on social media.

 

Wait, whaaa? Put my private photos on a social media site? Well yes - but done carefully. First of all, leaving racy photos on a hard drive somewhere isn't 100% safe to begin with and social media in recent years has had much tighter security measures applied. So here's what to do: create an "avatar" profile on a social media site that your significant other frequents. Choose a fun name that will make sure your spouse will recognize that it is you. Bump up the security settings to their maximum: make yourself unsearchable, un-taggable, etc. Once you've set up the account, add some of the photos from your shoot. If you're still feeling a bit shy, choose only photos where you're fairly unrecognizable (bodyshot close-ups, silhouette shots, artistic blurs).  Be sure the photos do not violate any of the website policies. Surprise your spouse with the hottest friend request or follow they will ever receive. The best part is the photos will be always accessible to them even if they're on the road. 

 

 

Make a series of sexy notecards

 

Printing a deck of notecards graced with sexy images of yourself is something that will come in handy all year long. You can use the notecards over time to leave your partner with special flirty messages or use them as invitations to an intimate night together with you. Or, arrange the photo shots such that each notecard shows you getting more and more into a state of becoming undressed, then write clues on them and set them up as an in-house treasure hunt where your significant other is led from card to card and finally finds you at the end.

 

-BSYNH

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

Easy and Fun Bondage Games: Our Couples-Building Sexy Games of the Week

Explore a Whole New World of Awesome Sex


Enticed by our introduction to bondage article? Here are some fun, easy and exciting games to explore with your spouse.

 

Sexy Spy Interrogation

 

This is a simple way to have a bondage encounter without the awkwardness of safe words or too much pre-planning. Check this out:

• Choose who will be the "captured spy" and who will be the "interrogator".
• Without the other partner seeing:
• Captured spy sets a 10 or 15 minute timer on a cellphone, and then locks the phone with a code unknown to the other partner. If you don't have a suitable cellphone, take a small object and hide it in the room somewhere.
• Interrogator sets up an interrogation area in the room. A bed or chair will work but an over-the-door restraint would be best as the game is more fun when you are both standing. Pick up some items like ice cubes, sex toys, nipple clamps (or clothes pins), etc to use on your partner.
• Begin the game by having the captured spy put into bondage for interrogation. The interrogator now has to get the unlock code from the spy before the cellphone alarm rings. If you've hidden something in the room instead, the interrogator must have the spy give up the location of this item before a pre-determined time.
• As interrogator, use the various accessories to tease and entice the spy to give up the information. Try a mix of seductive tortures (licking, sucking, bringing them to climax but denying them release) along with rougher play (spanking, pinching). Before you perform an "interrogation technique", explain what you are about to do and give the spy a chance to give up the information. Try to convince the spy to divulge the information so you can release them and finish them off after all this teasing.
• As the spy, try as hard as possible to maintain the full time without divulging the information. If ever you can't continue or your partner is doing (or about to do) something you do not like, simply give up the information and the game is over. On the contrary, as a sign to your partner to go even further or try harder, you can give cues like giving a false code / location to "get them angry" or say things like "you'll have to try harder than that, I'll never talk!"
• To make it more interesting, you can both agree on a reward for the winner or punishment for the loser of this game.

  

Self-Bondage Scavenger Hunt

 

Think your partner is secretly wishing for a bondage-style evening of steamy love-making? Surprise them with a sizzling bondage mini-adventure that will leave them writhing in anticipation all along. Here's what to do:

• Find a time when your partner will be home alone, without knowing that you will be home as well. Find a good hiding spot!
• Leave a note for your partner telling them to go to a specific location in your house. At that location, have another note ready with an instruction (such as "remove your shirt / blouse") and provide the location of the next note.
• At each location, have your partner do something such as:
• Remove an article of clothing or replace it with something sexy (lingerie, tight boyshorts)
• Something that will "put them in the mood" (smell a bouquet of roses, take a shot of alcohol, use a sex toy on themselves, etc)
• As they get towards the end, you can have them start collecting gear more specific to bondage (ball gag, nipple clamps, paddle, sex toys). Now they will know where this is going!
• At the final location, there should be one last set of instructions on a note. They should put any sex toys or accessories collected in a certain place and signal to you their completion of the course (for example by texting you a specific phrase). Once this is done, have a scenario ready for them where they are instructed to wear or apply various items they collected (blindfold, etc) and finally lock themselves up in a certain position where they will wait for you (think something easy like handcuffs tied to the bed frame or a chair).
• Allow a few minutes for your partner to wait and anticipate your arrival. Their mind will be racing wondering what you are about to do to them! 

 

Catch and Release

 

Spice up any card game or drinking game with your spouse by introducing some sexy elements of bondage / submission. It's a great way to take turns trying things out and makes for fun and exciting foreplay.

• Before you begin, with your partner make a deck of notecards or notes with a mix of at least 10 dirty acts, punishments or dares. (See below for some examples.)
• You will need a pair of handcuffs and any other sex toys or accessories that will go with the notecard activities you wrote above.
• Play a round of a quick card or drinking game:
• Loser of the round is locked up in handcuffs and will have to negotiate their release by agreeing to terms on the card randomly dawn by the winner.
• Winner pulls a notecard that names the price for the loser's freedom for this round. Loser must fulfill what is on the card to be set free.
• The acts described on the cards should be able to be done by (or to) the loser while in handcuffs. They should also work for both you and your spouse's gender and tastes, and are meant to be used a naughty foreplay. Fun items include:
• Having your partner spank you
• Having them write something on your body with a permanent marker
• Covering a part of you with syrup or whipped cream and licking it off
• Making you perform a quick sexual act (give a fast bit of oral sex, letting them play with you while you're captive)
• Take a compromising or suggestive photo of you for their personal use
• Use a sex toy on you (substitute with a male person's mouth for vaginal toys) 
• Be creative! This is a great game to push the limits and try new things with your spouse
• Once the loser has fulfilled what was on the notecard, that person is free and you play another round of the card/drinking game.
• Game ends when all 10 notecards have been played or someone has collected a certain number of notecards. Then head up to the bedroom to finish things off.
• This game is more fun when played in your underwear or some sort of role-playing costume... or less.

 

Happy playtime everyone ;0)

 

-BSYNH

 

 

 



DIY Boudoir Photography

Handy with the lens? Here's how you and your spouse can create your very own private boudoir photo session (and have a whole lot of fun doing it)

Boudoir photography has exploded in popularity recently, and to be honest, what's not to like? This type of steamy, delicately personal photography appeals on many levels. For the younger generation, boudoir photography is now becoming a trend as a sexy pre-wedding surprise gift for the groom to a fun group outing idea for a bachelorette party activity. For married couples, it is a great gift way to spice things up and is being used more commonly as a way to make a sexy, memorable, personalized gift for a birthday, anniversary or Valentine's Day (popular for wives as a spouse gift when made from the photos or equally for the husband to his wife as a pre-paid gift session with a professional photographer). For the newly single or older crowds, boudoir photography has grown popular as a living young / confidence booster to show that you're still as sexy as hell. And why not as sexy has no age limit or marital status? :0)

 

 

But what to do if you're too shy to go through with it? Not a fan of stripping to your undies and letting a stranger take photos or you (and who knows where they will end up!) ? Well the good news is that boudoir photography is an activity I highly recommend doing as a couple. All you need is a camera and an appetite for fun. Here's how:

 

Learn how to get the Most From Your Camera

 

Thanks to technology and a sudden drop in price for almost professional-grade photography equipment, most people today have fairly advanced, name-brand digital cameras. Cellphone and tablet cameras are also improving but for a boudoir shoot you may be pushing the limit of what those can do. In nay case, learn more about those features you never use and what different options buying some specialized lens can bring to the table. A quick internet search for the make an model of your camera will yield things like discussion groups, YouTube videos and other great resources you can brush up on to learn about how to best use your camera settings.

 

Find Poses That Work for you 

 

Time to scour Pinterest and Google. The key here is not to find a pose and try to look as good as the person in the photo; what you're looking for are poses of people with your similar body type that look fun, exciting and sexy to try out. Once you find a good example of a pose, pay attention to the details: placement of hands, legs, hips, tilting of the head and facial expression (eyes, mouth, etc). Ensure you are happy with the level of nudity shown in the shot as well and how "incognito" is (are you OK with your face being fully visible? Or do you prefer being unrecognizable in the photo?)

 

Lastly, look at elements that made the photo standout to you such as background, lighting, camera angle and any other artistic effects. Remember, different poses work better for different people; there is a big difference between a standing up pose and a lying down pose, so look around and choose what you think will best make you look like the sexy vixen you are. 

 

 

 

Get All Done Up

 

Please ladies, take my advice: choose something that makes you look, and most importantly, feel sexy. A photoshoot is like dancing; if you don't feel sexy you won't be able to pull it off no matter how much you spend on your get-up. How to feel sexy? First, choose an outfit that fits well. Something that does not fit well or suit your body type will lead to disappointing results. Accessorize with jewelry as desired. You may also want to get primped and pampered beforehand; as in getting your hair done, nails and maybe even a professional make-up session. This won't just make you look great, but you'll feel like a supermodel.

 

Bare Feet are for the Beach

 

It is very rare to see bare feet in boudoir shots. Why? Well, for starters toes can sometimes look awkward from different camera angles. Second, accessories like a pair of killer heels (remember you're posing for a few minutes, not walking half a mile in them so go with whatever your heart desires), ostentatious sex boots or classy yet racy stockings play well into the character of a photo shoot. As and added bonus, the high heels and tall stockings have a tendency to drive the eye down the leg, giving a supermodel-esque slimming illusion to your glamorous gams.

 

 

Choose the Proper Background

 

A good boudoir background should be clutter-free and non-distracting. If you want to do a bedroom shot, remove unnecessary pillows for the bed and clear off any sidetables or other furniture that will be in the shot. It may be better to use solid coloured or simple patterns background and they are probably already in your home in the oddest places - think of any curtains you may have, accent walls, wallpaper or even the tile in your bathroom shower. You can also use things like mirrors, windows and doorways for added artistic affects.

 

Lighting, Lighting, Lighting

 

The lighting in a photo can make all the difference. From a full-lit daylight shot to a discreet backlight silhouette, lighting can be your best friend or your worst enemy. First and foremost never use the flash of the camera and do not use any lighting that will create shadows on the subject. Play around with your location in a room to   

 

Never go Overboard With Photoshop

 

Ugh, please stay away from this one, especially for a DIY photoshoot. Focus your efforts on getting the original photo to look great rather than have yourself artificially enhanced in a photo-editing or graphics software. To make it worse, you may even be offended at some of the "upgrades" your spouse decides to digitally give you.

 

Yes, Guys are Doing it Too

 

Believe it or not, dudoir (pronounced "dude-doir") photography is also becoming a thing. So there is no reason why you men out there can't join in the fun!

  

 

How to Keep the Photos Private

 

So how do you make sure these photos stay your little secret? First off, use a dedicated memory card and remove it from the camera once you're done, then store it in a safe place. This can be a locking box or by purchasing a card with built-in security protection. If you will be taking the photos with a phone or tablet, go into "Flight Mode" to avoid accidentally uploading a photo somewhere to the never-regions of the internet. Avoid printing the photos using an online service; stick to the home printer and you are better off bringing any enlargements on a USB key to a printing store and having it done on the spot (you may get some funny looks if you are recognized but it sure beats having the kid at the Walmart print center grabbing a few extra copies for later).

 

If you don't want to take any chances, simply increase your "unrecognizability" in the photo by taking photos focused on body parts, shadow/silhouette shots, using your hair or accessories like sunglasses to cover you face or by simply looking away.

 

 

Say cheese!

-BSYNH

 

 

Updates:

 

What to do with those photos once you have your clothes back on? Check out some of these ideas.

 

Need help looking good on camera? Try some of these tips!

 

 



 

Bondage 101 for Married Couples

Everything you should know about bondage and why you should be experiencing it.

You've heard it already: 50 Shades of Grey shattered the mystery about the world of bondage and it seems everywhere you turned in 2015 everyone was dabbling in this formerly "deviant" sexual practice. But what exactly makes bondage (or BDSM as the short form of Bondage, Domination and Sado-Masochism)  that popular and fun, especially for people in a  relationship?

First and foremost, bondage involves trust. Trust of your partner and what they will do with you when you've handed over the key. For this reason, a couple (especially one that has had an extended relationship) is a perfect candidate to get mind-blowing, toe-curling sexual results from BDSM games.

Bondage is essentially a form of an erotic power exchange where consenting partners actively and willfully use the power element in their sex life. The key element (both sexually and emotionally) is that one partner takes the dominant role, and the other is the willing submissive. And this is perfect married couple territory as it combines the element of trust between the submissive and the dominant and encourages communication between the partners. The shape and form can vary and there are many types of fantasies that can be played out. In all cases it must be consensual and safe. While not for everyone, it is something that I recommend every couple should experience with their spouse at least once. So where to begin?

Ease into it

No need to surprise your partner with a red room of pain. Ease into things by talking with your partner and see what they like. Are they dropping hints? Do they sometimes put their hands behind their pillow and make you take control? Communicate, you may be surprised about what you find.

Once you've established some role-playing ideas and scenarios you'd both like to try, start slow with common items (neckties, belts or scarves) before buying more complex accessories, then take it from there.

 

Use the psychological aspect

Sexual anticipation is a big part of BDSM. The dominant partner should plan out the sexual encounter for his or her partner and then build erotic expectation by dropping hints about what is to come. Nothing is hotter than handcuffing your spouse and make them watch you while you set up; with all they being able to do is wait for you to come and start to slowly arouse them, heart pounding in anticipation.

Dress up and play a role; show a different side to yourself

All that leather and latex in BDSM has a purpose. It adds tactile and visual novelty by changing the way a partner's body feels and looks during sex. Change something about yourself - go with a different hair style (a tight high ponytail screams dominatrix), opt for dark make-up and dress in an edgier bedroom theme rather than sexy and cute. Try a new fragrance or even apply a temporary tattoo. Your new look will set the mood and tell your partner that it's time to let loose and be bad.

 

Speak the Language

 

Nothing adds to the depth of the fantasy like having the submissive being forced to call the dominant "madam", "sir" or "mistress". If you are the dominant, bark clear orders for the submissive and ask questions like "I bet you like that?", then if desired administer light punishments to the submissive if the answer is not quick or enthusiastic enough to your liking, or if they break protocol.

 

Take Control

 

Restraints add a playful and exciting sense of sexual control for the dominant while the submissive partner revels in erotic vulnerability. Different positions will bring out different feelings and intensity. Spread-eagle on the bed is great while standing with arms latched overhead adds the most novelty. Why overhead? Tying your partner's wrists to a high door hook or a shower rod exposes the sensitive stretch of skin along the sides of the body, which you can tease, driving your partner crazy. While in bondage, order the submissive to do things like standing at attention on their tip-toes or keeping his or her legs wide open while you play in-between.

 

Sensory Deprivation

 

Blindfolding, and to a certain extent gagging, is another element of BDSM that couples can adapt to mainstream sex. When eyesight is restricted, all the other senses are heightened. Spray a pair of your stockings with perfume and use them to blindfold him, or have him blindfold you with a necktie that smells of his cologne. Gagging is a more extreme way to assert deprivation of senses; forcing your partner to hold a pair of panties (warm or from the drawer is up to you) in their mouth is a good way to start.

 

Get physical (in a good way)

 

Tickling, pinching or experimenting with sensory items like cold ice cubes or warm candle wax (just not on the genitals!) is a way you can give your submissive a full tactile stimulation experience. Playful spanking increases blood flow to the buttocks and genital region in both men and women, increasing pleasure and sensation when that area is stimulated afterwards. Dress-up with your partner and add a role-play element for extra impact.

 

 

Predicament Bondage

 

Predicament bondage can be used as an exciting form of foreplay for your submissive partner. This type of bondage essentially is used as self-stimulation and self-inflicted by the submissive. For example, when tying their hands overhead on a door restraint, apply nipple clamps to the restraint in such a way that the clamps will tug if they are not standing on their tip-toes. Leave them in this position until they agree to concede something verbally or use as a 5-or-10 minute timed punishment for unsatisfactory behaviour while you watch them struggle between resting their feet or their nipples.

 

Self Bondage

 

This act involves someone voluntarily putting themselves into bondage, usually to wait for a partner to find and release them at a certain time, or, when done completely solo, using a sort of time-release mechanism such as encasing the key to a pair of handcuffs in ice. In all cases a safety release that the person can activate in an emergency must be part of the setup. Self bondage can be used by married couples several ways. A partner may put themselves into this scenario to surprise the other partner, a partner may give instructions to the other partner to put themselves into a certain scenario and wait to be released, and finally, sometimes a couple will put themselves in double self-bondage, usually in a  compromising position where both must find a way to "pass the time" with each other until the time release mechanism frees both or one of them.  

 

There are lots of great BDSM online community discussion forums with detailed information and other members just like you. Feel free to use this article as a starting point and then look at evolving your BDSM relationship with your partner.

 

UPDATE: Want to play with your partner? Try our fun and sexy bondage games for beginner couples!

 

-BSYNH

 

 



Risky Business - Our Couples-Building Sexy Game of the Week

The thought of getting caught or having someone see you doing something naughty is an instant turn for the inner voyeur / exhibitionist inside all of us. But not everyone has the mojo to do it in public; so if you don't feel like getting in trouble with the law, getting fired from your job or risk having a passerby upload a picture or video of you to the internet, check out these games that have just the right level of riskiness while still capturing all the fun.

 

Oh if the neighbours only knew...

How to play:

1. Find the busiest window in your house (anything ground level, facing the street, or the noisy backyards of your neighbours is a good candidate).

2. Open the window so that you can hear everything going on outside, if possible, choose

 

a time of day when there is enough activity happening.

3. Lie down with your partner directly below the window (use a blanket and pillows), out of sight to the outside world but close enough that you’ll have to careful to not stand up or be too loud.

4. Drive each other wild with your best foreplay tricks and climax while taking care not to be heard or seen by anyone outside.



Why this is so hot:

This game is a good compromise as the chances of being heard or seen doing something indecent are very real if you're not careful, yet the risk is fairly low. There’s nothing naughtier than holding in the moans and whimpers of your orgasm as your partner whispers to you to “shhh, keep quiet or else people will hear us”.


Window Mannequin

How to play:

1. Like above, find the busiest window in your house (anything ground level or facing the street or noisy backyards of your neighbours is a good candidate).

2. Open the window so that you can hear everything going on outside, ensure you’ve chosen a time of day when there is enough activity happening. If playing at night, set the light level in the room to something you’re comfortable with so you're visible from outside.

3. Stand in front of the window with your arms in front of you, holding the sill or casing. Make sure anyone outside can only see you from the waist up and do not move.

4. Have your partner crawl under the window sill and remove your pants / skirt and underwear, all while still being out of view. Let them start teasing you with their fingers or a toy and/or applying oral sex.

5. Try to reach a full climax: see how long you can last without giving yourself away. Be sure you can quickly drop out of sight if required.

Why this is so hot:

This game will put you more “out there” than the first but it will be one of the most exciting semi-public sexual encounters you will have without going full exhibitionist. Bonus points if while going down on your exposed partner you ask them if anyone is looking.


Have fun you naughty devils  ;0)

-BSYNH

 

Married Couples and the World of Digital Voyeurism

Why Couples are Surprisingly Front and Center in the Digital Voyeurism Age

You've seen the headlines countless times in recent months: some Hollywood star gets their phone hacked or stolen and suddenly compromising pictures of them and their partner become available online. Others have sex tapes leaked or former lovers hold them ransom with the threat of releasing intimate photos or videos. All deplorable crimes and invasions of privacy. But one question has to be asked: why are so many couples taking the plunge into digital voyeurism in the first place? Everywhere you turn, it seems phones, tablets and computers are filled with explicit and personal pictures and videos of intimate nature. Be it racy shots of their partners to downright explicit recordings of them in the act, why are more and more couples participating in digital voyeurism with each other?

The Stigma is Officially Gone

With the leaps and bounds of recent technology, sending, receiving or taking photos and videos of the intimate nature has never been easier than before. Not like previous generations had a choice as any naughty photos would have required a film camera. As a result, for most married couples and even in the dating world, it is becoming commonplace to send a suggestive photo when flirting with your partner to something a bit more graphic if the mood ends up hitting and you're not in the same room. When asked, most tech savvy members in a relationship wouldn't even flinch at sending their partner a #BraPic or indulging in graphic SnapChatting.

Digital Voyeurism has Become the Perfect Fit for "Soft" Exhibitionists

Ew gross, aren't exhibitionist those creepy guys waiting in the park with a trenchcoat? Yes, it is that by definition in its most extreme form. On the flip side, do you enjoy racy movies with steamy sex scenes? Most people do. So there’s a little bit of voyeur in all of us. Do you ever wear tight, form-fitting, or revealing clothing to show off some aspect of your body? Many people do at the beach, at the gym, or heading out for a night on the town. Truth is there’s a little bit of exhibitionist in most of us, too. For this reason an explicit sext or photograph to only a select person is usually just enough to get us feeling desirable, sexy and just naughty enough - and most won't go further with full exhibitionism.

We Like Looking Good for Others to See

A quick check on Instagram and it's easy to see our vain side - let's be honest, we (a) like looking good in pictures, (b) knowing that we look good and (c) that anyone who sees the picture will think about how good we look. So if bikini shots and the like are what we're sending out for mass distribution to dozens (hundreds?) of followers on social media, then you can probably imagine what kind of select photos are being sent out in private to that person's lover.

Riskiness is Sexy

According to recent surveys, over 57% of Americans have had sex outdoors or in a public place -  clearly showing that (a) mild exhibitionism isn't uncommon in most couples as we had mentioned above and (b) it's just plain fun to be risky. While most people would probably crawl under a rock to hide if ever they actually got caught or were exposed to the public, many people have mentioned that they get a similar rush taking a photo of themselves doing something equally risky such as being partly naked or doing something inappropriate, even if that photo is distributed to one person they know or sent in a temporary format.

At Some Point, Most Modern Couples Will Dabble with DIY Porn

A 2014 survey shattered any perceptions that amateur porn (either watching it, creating it or sharing it) is for lonely single guys living in their parents' basement. The fact is most people today will have either recorded part or all of a sexual encounter by the age of 40, married couples included and in most cases with their current partner. Whether or not the recording is kept, distributed or even watched is not known, but with so many screens and cameras lying around in the form of smartphones, webcams, laptops and tablets, its no surprise couples have tried to give a homemade xxx production a shot. But not everyone is trying to be the next YouPorn star: when asked, many gave details that the recordings or even "live sessions" they participated in were done for romantic reasons (partner was out of town on a trip, souvenir for lover, etc).

Happy snapping lovebirds :0)

-BSYNH

Make a Naughty Room - Our Couples-Building Sexy Game of the Week

Can't get away for a sexcation? Have one at home.

While earlier this week we discussed travelling away form home for a sexy getaway with your spouse, not everyone is able to leave it all behind and travel at will. For those that prefer to stay at in, there is good news - bring the novelty and excitement of a sex-filled getaway right into your home by creating an easy DIY naughty room.

What is a naughty room? Think of it as a room that you can convert easily in a few minutes into an adult playroom that you use on special occasions. The purpose of the room is to create a fun, sexy space to allow for you and your partner to have sex like you can have nowhere else in the house. An oasis, an escape from the mundane and routine of everyday life. With a naughty room, you will bring novelty (a natural aphrodisiac) and excitement to your sexual encounter and also have a lot of fun personalizing and evolving your setup with your spouse. See our tips below on how to make one in your home.

Choose a place in the home that is not your bedroom

So where to create a naughty room? Well for starters if you want novelty that means anywhere but where you usually would have sex, so cross your bedroom off the list. Besides this, any room can be converted into an adult playroom. Choose the room based on size and space, as well as any features you may find interesting during your activities (Jacuzzi tub? TV and camera setup? Fireplace?). Think about areas tucked away and far from sleeping children or attached neighbours if you think things can get loud. Also don't rule out basement rooms - the "industrial" setting of an unfinished basement can easily be turned into something surprisingly erotic with a little creativity.

Set the mood

Create a sexy mood by covering walls, unneeded furniture, personal portraits or anything else unsexy by sticking on drapes or covering with cloth sheets / blankets. A visit to a fabric store or a used decor / clothing store can yield items of very good quality and snazzy style (small shag area rug anyone?).

Nothing sets the mood like the right lighting - cover existing lights with transparent pink, purple or red plastic sheets from an arts and crafts store for a sultry effect. Or, forego the lightswitch altogether an find safe locations for candles (bonus points if scented).

Finally, make the area comfortable by adding pillows or other accessories that go with your theme.

Accessorize

Now time to fill the room with play areas and toys for you and your partner. Think about any fun or wild new things you can try in this new space. Chairs and tables can be dressed up and used as furniture for trying new sex positions. You can make a cozy corner for you and your partner to get frisky in. A TV can be used to roll erotic films in the background while you play. Think about covering an area with plastic sheeting or shower curtains if you plan on things getting messy (break out the Sam's Club-sized chocolate syrup honey!).

If you are interested in dabbling with some BDSM, you can buy kits at a local sex store that convert bedframes and doorways into a red-room-of-pain-worthy dungeon setup. Or, a quick Google search will show you to easily convert standard furniture using everyday items into your own private bondage setup without breaking the bank.

Find a locking box that you can keep hidden somewhere in the room and fill it with adult games and special sex toys. Having everything in one place will give you something quick to pull out when using the naughty room.

Make it fun

With your partner, find fun ways to use the room by setting the mood with things you wouldn't normally do in the bedroom. Think of going with themes (master / slave night), making up fun rules (shhh - no talking tonight, just sex) or giving each other specific dress codes (all black or role-playing costumes). You can also each create a bank of sexy scenarios to play out and seal them in individual envelopes, then open one randomly each time you use the naughty room.

Keep it simple

Don't get carried away by overcomplicating your setup by comparing to the fancier types of naughty rooms you see on TV (like the one made popular in the Real Housewives series). While having things like a stripper pole or creating your own private dungeon can be fun, the beauty of a true DIY naughty room is that it is something that can be setup on a whim in about 5 minutes. Try to keep the items required to set up the room together in a discrete location closeby, and send your partner off to freshen up while you do the setup.


Now off to your rooms, you naughty little ones :0)

-BSYNH

Question of the Day: Feedback on "Soft" Threesomes

Feedback on our article about "soft" threesomes dominated our inbox in December. Here are some of the highlights we drew from the pile:

"I have to admit we became part of the soft threesome club a few months ago. For my husband's 40th birthday I was sensing he was heading towards midlife crisis territory so I booked us a surprise trip to Vegas. We rented a fast car, he got to drive a Harley and one night after partying it up figured it would be fun to bring some of the local talent back to the hotel room with us. Not everyday I've gotten a lapdance from another girl, it was a fun evening and it was cool to cross that off our list. Still waiting for my Best Wife Award to be delivered but I'm sure it's in the mail LOL"

-MS

"Read your article and not sure why you're discounting the second guy option so easily. Yeah so what about the research survey? The two girl option is so overdone now, it's was risqué back in 1998 when Wild Things came out. Someone should at least talk to their partner about it if they really want the two guys."

-BB

"I must admit we dabbled with BDSM and one of the best nights we ever had was meeting up with an errrr "professional" dominatrix that we found through our local community online forum. It was totally soft as she remained clothed and just made me and hubs do stuff for her. We were afraid it would be awkward but it was fairly obvious once she showed up that we're not the only couple in the block to do these kinds of things, she was great and really made it a fun experience for us. Would do again"

-Anonymous

Thanks everyone for the comments and for sharing, please contact us if you have more to add!

-BSYNH

Have any comments or questions for our team? Email us at BestYouNeverHadBlog@gmail.com - your name, email address and location will remain confidential.

Destination: Sex

Why an increasing number of married couples are booking vacations with one thing on their mind.

The weather is getting cold and the January blahs are setting in - it's time to book a vacation! But before you go to a travel agent to book the same old resort like last year, here are a few reasons why you may want to grab your spouse and book a steamy sexcation for just the two of you in time for Valentine's Day.

 

 

Life gets in the way at home.

 

Couples surveyed that booked second honeymoons or sexcations with each other showed that their regular home life passes by at breakneck speed. Even in cases where their romance life was rated as "good" and sex life as "satisfying", there was still a need to make time for a romantic getaway to focus on each other.  

 

Hotel rooms appear to be a natural aphrodisiac.

 

According to a recent survey and the science behind it, you are more likely to be adventurous, do it for longer and in the end be more satisfied with sex when done away from home. And why not? There's no comparison between a posh hotel room to a staycation at home with the same mattress and sheets. But it isn't all décor and luxury. The fact that you're away from the distractions of home means you're probably out seeing the sights, having a nice dinner and bonding with your partner, and everyone knows sex with your spouse is better when you've established that connection beforehand.

 

It's never been easier to book a racy adult vacation on your own.

 

What was once reserved for the underground sex scenes or was limited to hedonist resorts is now only a quick click away with new websites like Kink BnB. With the seediness gone and with plenty of romantic rooms to outright naughty play settings available locally for easy booking at a good price, it's no surprise that more and more married couples and taking the plunge.

 

 

 

In today's economy, it delivers on the dollar.

 

With most couples feeling the pinch on travel budgets this year, booking a hotel room for a few days with the purpose of spending as much time as possible between the sheets with your spouse is a very affordable and attractive option. Of the couples surveyed, booking for two nights was found to be the ideal median, which is perfect for people who can't afford (or can't stay away from home) longer.

 

It is the easiest vacation to pack for.

 

Pack light and pack fun. Make it clear to your spouse what the purpose of the vacation is and make sure you both bring only the items you need (think outfits, toys, games) and maybe a lounge shirt and yoga pants to relax or for when you finally go outside to grab some fresh air and stretch your sore legs.

 

 

So think about it ... would your spouse be on board with a sexcation?

-BSYNH