Why women are coming out on top in the bedroom
As demographics change and social taboos subside (and even reverse themselves in some cases), new trends show that women are increasingly assertive in the bedroom. It's clear that something has changed: while married women from previous generations knew how to have fun, this next generation has taken everything a step further where pole-dancing is exercise and 50 Shades of Grey is a coffee table book.
Let's take a look on how female domination has left the realm of mostly male-inspired underground BDSM fantasy and instilled itself in gentler form in the tranquil lifestyles in surburbia.
Female-centric sexual positions are on the rise
Trends show that over time in long-term relationships (including marriage) female-favoured sexual positions become predominant. The findings make sense women seek different levels of sexual satisfaction with maturity and are generally more confident in driving the bandwagon. Sexual positions such as woman-on-top normally leads to higher sexual satisfaction as the woman can control the frequency and depth of penetration, as well as how long her partner can last. It is not uncommon to see in most lifestyle magazines nowadays female-empowered sex positions taking the majority of print space.
Rise of the female dominant sex fantasy
Female domination during sex originally stemmed from male-driven BDSM fantasies: even if the woman was dominant, the incarnation she assumed was driven by submissive male fantasies, scenarios and scenes. In recent years, women have overtaken this fantasy and driven it themselves out of desire (and to be honest in most cases I've seen) curiosity. Playing a power role through actions, words and dressing up in the bedroom has become increasing common for women. For example, one testament to this is the rise in popularity of the ultimate female dominant sexual act of pegging and the disappearance of the stigma attached to having anal sex with a heterosexual male. More women look for and openly discuss the advantages of having a "Bend Over Boyfriend" whether for occasional or "sexual bucket list" use. And it isn't all that bad for the male partner either: although guys may not openly admit it, prostate stimulation can lead to more intense orgasms, and has nothing to do with being homo- or heterosexual.
Chivalry is dead, so it's OK to demand it
The long-lost art of chivalry was swept away with the equality revolution: if a man could do it, a women could do it better. So as present-day men treat women with less and less chivalry, a large number of women still like the noble idea of having a man gallantly at their service (at least in piecemeal). For a small part, this desire has manifested itself through more dominant female behaviours, manifested in a convenient, well encompassed and more dramatic way through foreplay and sexual role-playing. And what's not to like? Commanding your man to give you a foot massage, back rub or act on your every whim in a sexual fantasy scenario is a good middle ground that lets you enjoy the act of chivalry without giving up on women's lib.
Domination as feminism?
As mentioned above, women have completely repatriated (re-matriated?) the dominant female stereotype, and in some cases have gone as far as branding it as feminism. A surplus of literature has come out in recent years servicing the thought of dominant, strong females as starting in the bedroom and growing outwards.
Drawing inspiration from the dominatrix
It all starts in bed, say certain experts: and getting what you want under the sheets can lead to getting what you want in other areas of your life. Indeed many people look to domination as a good way to breed inner strength and to adopt a "sex positive" outlook on life, where empowerment starts through being strong in your sex life.
No one is a bigger proponent to this than author, doctorate and resident dominatrix Sandra LaMorgese PhD, who uses her own experience to guide others in life transformations, in particular as published in her book outlining the benefits and empowerment that comes from embracing your own sexual evolution and coming out of your comfort zone to grow.
Fashion: the dominatrix look is now for empowered women
Who would have thought "bondage chic" would ever be a thing? Well it is. Latex-wear that was once only fit for a sex-worker in an underground dungeon is now haute couture for the red carpet. Made recently popular by Kim Kardashian, women have taken ownership of what was once a kinky fashion statement and making it look smoking hot, empowering and quite frankly - proudly feminine. The trend is leaving the runways and heading for mainstream where more women (like the young lady in this Cosmopolitan article) are finding the power of looking domineering and feeling confident as something to embrace (or at least try).
-BSYNH
Update: It's April 2017 and everything we outlined in this article from last year seems to still be trending strong. A recent survey shows that for the first time recordable data indicated more growth among women paying for sex services than men, mostly to take charge of their own sexual fulfilment and female dominant fantasies.
Do you see parts of the strong "suburban dominatrix" in you or your spouse? Share your comments below!
Do you see parts of the strong "suburban dominatrix" in you or your spouse? Share your comments below!
