5 Things that Should be on Your 2016 Couples Bucket List

What Should You and Your Spouse aim for and do in 2016?

It's January 1st ladies and gents, and you know what this means - time to sit down with your spouse and make a combined bucket list with everything you want to do in 2016. What to put in this list? Well here are our top five ideas for starters:

 

Make Regular Date Nights

How will 2016 be about you as a couple? If you haven't already, book the time with your partner on a recurring basis for the new year (example, last Friday of the month), call the sitter and make it happen.

Accomplish Something Together (just the two of you).

Be it skydiving, renovation of the powder room or finishing a 1000-piece puzzle, find something you can work on with your spouse and give yourself the end of the year to do it. Accomplishing a task with your spouse isn't just a great way to bond, it encourages you to find time together and will give you something to be proud of for accomplishing together.

Start a Naughty Jar

The new year is a great excuse to start saving up towards something sexy for just the two you. Follow our instructions here and cash in next January 1st 2017. Be sure to talk with your spouse about what to spend it on throughout 2016.

Try Something New Sexually

I doesn't have to be wild, but do something new. You can either talk with your spouse and plan something together, or take turns during the year in surprising each other with something you have never tried together. This will encourage you to openly explore your fantasies and keep the romance fresh physically.

Capture your Intimate Memories of 2016 with Photographs

Whether it be a boudoir photoshoot of your spouse or snapping a few sexy selfies together, make yourselves a private memory book of some of the hottest moments you will spend together this year.

Happy new year everyone :0)

-BSYNH

Soundtrack for Sex - The 2015 Sexiest Song of the Year

The Weeknd - Earned It

The Weeknd produced some of the most seductive songs of 2015 and marked the year with smashing live performances at events like the MTV VMAs, Junos, SNL and AMAs; then topping it all off by providing a sultry soundtrack to lingerie-clad models walking the runway at the uber-sexy Victoria Secret's Fashion show earlier this month.

Therefore it should be no surprise that the singer takes the prize for the sexiest song of 2015, and there was no song hotter than the one he sang for the sexiest movie of 2015 Fifty Shades of Grey . To make the decision even easier, it features a deliciously sinful music video that spared nothing to get hearts racing with the song's sexy groove.

With that being said, "Earned It" was certainty a go-to song for couples when hitting the sheets in 2015 and is named our Soundtrack For Sex Song Of the Year.

 

 

-BSYNH

Surviving the Holidays as a Couple

Christmas should be a fun time of year

This time is always a busty one for me - an influx of people seeking help or advice as they gear up to spend the holidays balancing preparations, extended family, hosting parties, dealing with the expectations of your children and in some cases working through the holiday period. It is a time that can cause great stress between couples, which is sad when thinking that it is a time to be together, celebrate together and appreciate each other.

So what to do when you're dashing around from one relative's house to another, dealing with family or surviving another outing with tired and over-stimulated kids? Here's the advice I give all couples who are feeling the pressure of the holidays:

Make it a point to spend quality time together with your spouse.

Start a tradition that only you and spouse will share at this time of year. Sipping hot cocoa by the fire after the kids are in bed? Opening your spouse's present when it's just the two of you? This will help you both acknowledge the importance of not only celebrating Christmas with your kids or family, but with each other as well.

Plan a schedule that works and stick to it

A lot of times couples will fold under the stress of visiting family, hosting parties, and accepting every invitation thrown at them to make everyone happy. The best way to deal with this to plan your Christmas break schedule with your spouse and your kids. Find a calendar and log all the events you will either be attending or hosting, including the location and names of people. Ask the others to keep it up to date. As the date approaches, sit down together and look at the calendar and see if the plan makes sense. Are you spending too much time on the road? Hosting way to often? Spending too much time with certain people as opposed to others? Discuss with your partner and family and re-arrange your schedule so that it works best.

Set clear expectations on what the gift situation will be with your spouse

Getting a gift for a spouse is one of the biggest subjects for stress this time of year. Going too big or too small can make you look foolish or your partner feel uncomfortable. You can make the task easier for both of you by communicating beforehand on what to do for gifts this year and either write a list of possible gifts together, agree on a theme for the presents this year, or a spending limit.

Take advantage of the extra help if it's available

Family in town and staying with you? Spending a few days at the in-laws? If you have kids, these helping hands may be just what the doctor ordered to let you and your spouse slip away for a few hours and take a breather, just the two of you. Don't be shy to ask family or friends to either watch the kids or take them out somewhere and you can have a quick date with your spouse.

Don't stop your sex life because of the holidays

One of the worst mistakes a couple can make is putting their sex life on hold during the Christmas break because "it's just too busy". If anything, you and you spouse should be doing the opposite and making this holiday your own. Remember how we wrote about creating your own special sexy traditions in our article a few weeks ago)?  Well here's your chance to get into the spirit of the season!

Happy holidays everyone :0)

-BSYNH

Soundtrack for Sex - Song Pick of the Week

Tyrese - Shame

If there isn't a better song out right now for make-up sex with you partner, we haven't found it yet. If the smooth sizzle and classic R&B feel that Tyrese lays down in this track isn't enough to convince you to listen, how about a music video directed by Denzel Washington that also features a cameo by Jennifer Hudson?

When needed, put this tune on in the background, hop into bed and start making it up to your spouse while Tyrese does the talking.

 

-BSYNH

The Backseat Tango: Our Couples-Building Sexy Game of the Week

Steam up the car windows with your spouse

In my mind, there is no question about it - everyone has to have sex with their spouse in a car at least once in their lives. If you've never done the good old fashioned backseat tango with your partner or if you did and simply want to re-kindle the memories of yesteryear, here's a fun game to play:

 

1. Pull your car into a private area, preferbly not in public where local bylawas may get you into trouble. Worst case, an area like behind your house or inside the garage (with the motor off of course) would work.
2. Be sure to take out any car seats or other objects in your back seat.
3. Sit in the front seats of the car with your spouse, fully clothed and buckled in. 
4. Start a heavy make-out session and remove your seatbelt buckles.
5. As things get steamier, find a way to pull your spouse into the back seat without getting out of the car.

Variations:
Try to do the deed by challenging each other to undo but not remove a single amount of clothing.

Make it better:
Couples that have tried this have found that being formally dressed has been the most fun (and also challenging). Next time you get home from a formal event, send home the sitter and try this game out while the kids are still fast asleep. Another good way to make this better is to throw some odl songs from your dating years on the player / car radio.

So what are you waiting for? The closeness of cramped quarters, steamed-up windows and fumbling around with your partner – if you haven’t experienced this at least once, you’re not living. Have fun and try not to set off the horn by accident :)

-BSYNH

Soundtrack for Sex - Song Pick of the Week

Major Lazer - Powerful (feat. Ellie Goulding)

 

The unmistakeable vocals of Ellie Goulding are the perfect contrast for the gravely warmth of Tarrus Riley's voice in this quirky ballad. The back-and-forth rhythm of this song make it perfect for subtle pauses and changing the tempo in a passionate tryst with your spouse.

 

See for yourself in the video below:

 



-BSYNH

Sexy Menu: Our Couples-Building Sexy Game of the Week

Looking for a fun gift idea? Create some sexy menu options for your spouse.

Here is great DIY gift for your spouse that will certainty spice things up. This is a great stuffer for a birthday or Valentine’s Day card. Simply slip the menu and play money inside; it’s basically a personalized gift certificate for a fun night with you. Here's how it works:

• Grab some play money from a board game (or print from online). 
• Use a card to make a “menu” of sexy things to do with (or for) your partner. Some ideas:
• A choice of sexy outfits for you to wear for them
• Foreplay activities
• Fun things to do with adult toys or food items like whipped cream
• “Out there” ideas like a striptease, spanking, private show
• Sexual positions you'd be open to trying
• Decide how much play money you will give them and for each options draw up a price. Size up the pricing so they can pick a few, but not all, items from the menu. Set it so they can either get a bunch of small things or splurge on one big selection.
• Surprise your partner with the menu and let them choose what they’d like to spend the money on.

This is a great way to give your partner a choice of fun activities to do with you. It’s also exciting for both by being “what will they choose?” from your end and “oh, my partner is willing to do that?” from their end. It is also a good exercise to add new things to the mix and to learn more about your partner and what their preferences are.

-BSYNH

Don't Ever Stop Being a Couple

You may be married, you may have kids, but you need to always be a couple.

The one constant in dating, engagement, marriage, life with kids and growing old together is you and your spouse. You were, are, and always will be a couple. Many issues or problems that arise in a marriage usually boil down to something either going wrong with the couple either by the couple losing touch or lack of communication or understanding of each other. There are ways that you can ensure that even with the busiest lifestyle, you can keep the intimacy, communication and teamwork aspect that is the base and strength of being a couple. Here are a few ways:

Find and build couple goals together.

Talk with your spouse about any goals or aspirations you would like both to build and strive for together. The purpose is not to get them to agree to a pre-conceived idea you have, but rather name a subject, discuss, listen to their opinions and see what you can both dream up together. These goals should be a mix of short-term objectives (where to go on vacation for next summer) or long-term (retirement dreams). This exercise is a great way to ensure you both stay in synch and have a common objective to aspire and look forward to.

Share tasks and run-of-the-mill activities.

Rather than dividing up housework or menial tasks, make it a point to try to tackle certain tasks as a couple. Cooking a dinner together, painting a bedroom or even spending an evening solving a jigsaw puzzle is a great way to keep a connection with your spouse, gives you an excuse to communicate while in close proximity of each other and when the job is down, reminds you of how much you can accomplish together.

Make it a point to have fun together.

Depending on you and your spouse's sense of humour, nothing is better than being able to have innocent, giddy fun between yourselves. Create a series of inside jokes you share only with your spouse. Make it a point to make them laugh at least once a day, whether it's through a practical joke, prank or just being so darn cute to them.

Think about why you're happy to have them.

Take time to stop and look at your life, what you're happy about and what you spouse has done to contribute to this happiness. Are they a great parent to your kids? Do they help you in times of need? Think of what they have done for you recently, a while ago and back when you needed them most. At that point, why not share these things with them?

Relive an old date

Remember that ice cream shop where you had your first kiss? Your favorite restaurant in your old neighbourhood that was your go-to dinner place when dating? Head back and relive an old date and let the memories spring back. If you have kids, you can either leave them with a sitter or bring them along to share this special place with them and add them to the memories.

-BSYNH

Soundtrack for Sex - Song Pick of the Week

Drake - Hotline Bling

The smooth sounds of Drake in Hotline Bling are perfect for a romantic evening in with your spouse. This slow melody features changing tempos and a rhythm perfect for an intimate, drawn-out foreplay session or for a relaxed tussle under the sheets.

Late night when you need my love...

-BSYNH

The Hard Facts on Soft Threesomes

Threesomes, Monogamy, Marriage and Everything in Between


The sexual landscape has changed over time and a question that would seldom arise years ago is now becoming more and more predominant. We're married. But how can we do a threesome without looking like weirdos or getting someone upset?

 

Recent data shows that 1 out of every 5 of men and women have had a threesome at some point in their lives; a staggering climb from previous years, especially for an act that was relegated to the outskirts of sexual deviancy only a few decades ago. What's more astounding is a growing trend of these people experiencing threesomes are married, and doing the deed with their current partner. So why the sudden change?

It's hard to tell for sure, but experts point to the fact that many married couples today have already had multiple partners before tying the knot to their current spouse. This leads to people being more sexually experienced, meaning (a) they can get bored easily with a ho-hum love life, and (b) as a matter of pride, want to make sure they are the best lover the partner has had. As a result, married couples are more creative in the bedroom today than ever before, bringing on things like the rise of "mommy porn" and what is now termed as the "soft" threesome.

So what makes it "soft"?

A soft threesome differs from the traditional definition in that the third person is more of an accessory to a couple's sexual activity, and may not be involved in direct intercourse with members of the couple. This "soft" aspect has allowed the threesome to find its way into a monogamous relationship. Here are some of the conditions that will make a soft threesome fun and satisfying for married couples:

It has to be a common goal for both of you.

Soft threesomes will work best if both partners are in. This should not be one partner's fantasy, and the other partner should not feel forced into doing it. A lot of discussion should take place beforehand, setting the rules and what the expectation is. If both partners are OK, take this on as a challenge as a couple. It's you and your spouse, you will cross this off your couples' bucket list.

It should be a once-in-a-lifetime event.

I 've never recommended that this should become the lifestyle for married couples. If people are into swinging or other types of multiple-partner relationships, there needs to be a discussion about having an open marriage. For couples in a traditional monogamous marriage, my recommendation is to treat a threesome as a one-time event that you will do, enjoy and experience once together as a couple. You can then cross it off the list and move on.

Don't do it with someone you know.

That old free-spirit college roommate or that single friend who's a bit of a lush should not be on your list of people to try to pull in. My recommendation for this type of activity has always been to do the deed, then cut and run. Doing something like this with someone you know could leave you with some unwanted baggage after the fun is over, namely:

• your relationship with them may end up being awkward
• they may ask for a favour in return that you're not open to doing
• it will include them in the memory of what you and your partner are doing
• it can turn ugly if ever you end the friendship on a bad note

On the flip side, untrustworthy strangers are not exactly the best option either. With that being said, you may want to look at hiring a professional service in your area. As demand for third partners with couples has increased in recent years, several web services now will only cater to couples.

While prostitution is an illegal activity, soft threesomes that do not involve intercourse with the third party does not technically qualify as prostitution or solicitation, which is why many of these agencies operate freely out in the open. If in doubt, check your local laws.

Don't do it at home.

I've always recommended to even the most liberal couples to do these type of activities anywhere else but at home. First, there is safety: you may not want certain types of people coming into your home, or knowing where you live. Second, a physical separation from your ordinary routine is a much needed benefit for these types of explorations. Your mind will subconsciously say "we're not at home, this is a one-time thing that is happening here only, away from my normal life". Rent a hotel room in a reputable establishment and order in a service of your choosing. Or, make this activity part of a vacation or couples-only trip / weekend away.

You're probably better off pulling in a woman.

Not to slight the female fantasy of having two men, it's much harder to keep a threesome "soft" with two males involved (no pun intended). In general, a woman will have a higher chance of pleasing both partners, especially considering the fact that studies show most women (over 82%) are subconsciously bisexual. Unfortunately the same is not true for men and may lead to problems with the threesome.

The third party should only be an accessory to you and your spouse.

The third party should only be there to help along with the foreplay, get your motors running and take in the show while you and your partner have intercourse. How close and how personal they get is up to you. Activities for the third party can include physical contact with one partner while the other watches, suggestive actions and grabbing / touching while you two are doing the deed in the end. At no point should they take your spouses' focus off you.

Set the rules in advance: be clear, speak up if you don't like what's happening.

Setting rules will ensure no one feels betrayed or gets hurt feelings from what unfolds in the heat of the moment. Rules don't need to be boring; they can be firm but fun. Think along the lines of "OK, we're doing this but only I get to play with her - you watch us all you want, enjoy, and play with me". With a  professional service, you can make these rules known before starting and they will be more than happy to comply and respect them along the way. If at any point things aren't going as planned, put on the brakes and pull your partner aside.

Have fun and enjoy it!

A threesome (regardless of being soft) is seen as the apex of sexual conquest. As I mentioned above, this should be treated as a couples' objective: something you both want to do, have accomplished, enjoyed and have shared together. The memories will be you and your spouse's little secret that you will hold onto as long as you can remember.

Shhhhh. ;0)

-BSYNH

UPDATE: What did some of our readers tell us about soft threesomes? Find out here.

The Naughty Jar: Our Couples-Building Sexy Game of the Week

Make a Sexy Naughty Jar for You and Your Spouse

Making a naughty jar is a fun and simple way to keep things cute and sexy with your spouse.

Similar to a "cursing jar" (where you deposit a set sum of money each time someone uses foul language), the goal of a "naughty jar" is to fill the jar every time you or your partner do something deemed naughty or dirty. Once the jar is full or a period of time has elapsed, you empty the jar and use it to fund something sexy just for the two of you.

Find a mason jar or a suitable cup. Leave it someplace visible in your bedroom.

With your spouse, make up fun rules on what constitutes a "naughty activity" and what the offender must contribute to the naughty jar for each infraction. You can make some worse than others depending on how naughty the action is. Examples of a "naughty activity" include:

• Having a dirty thought about your partner when they're not around
• Pleasuring yourself to the thought of your partner without them knowing
• Having sex together
• A certain position or dirty sex move
• The partner who orgasms first has to make a contribution
• Not fulfilling a sexy dare
• Losing a sexy game

Set a time period to empty out the naughty jar, usually once a year like Valentine's day. If your birthdays are far enough apart, you and your spouse can cash out the jar to put towards a sexy birthday gift.

 

With your spouse, set a goal for the money saved up in the jar. Some ideas include:

• You put the money towards a couples' sex toy of your choice
• You save up for a sexy night out for the two of you
• You split the money and surprise each other with a sexy gift within a week's time (a sex toy, game, lingerie)

In-between those cash-out periods, use the jar to communicate with your partner. What were some of the memories associated with those naughty deeds you have each done? How much money is in the jar and what will you spend it on? If the savings are going towards a toy, take the time to browse an online adult toy website together; discuss what toys would be fun options and why.



Optional: It is up to you if you want to leave the jar as-is or decorate it. Leaving it as-is makes it less inconspicuous; someone who walks into your bedroom will assume it's merely a change jar or savings jar. Decorating it with lace, sexy ribbons or wild patterns makes it more fun. Some couples have stuffed a pair of sexy underwear at the bottom of the jar. There is nothing wrong with having the jar reflect your personal style!

Fun Thoughts: You can use a naughty jar as a gift for a bachelorette party or wedding shower. Add a card with the "naughty" rules and decorate the jar for the lucky recipient and their future spouse.

The Four Types of Sex Essential for Your Marriage

It isn't the quantity, it's a mix of balance and having all four of these elements.

One of the most common questions or complaints that couples unhappy with their sex life are usually related to (a) someone feels they just aren't having enough and (b) the current sex life is too boring, leading to a loss of interest / motivation / fun.

Here's what we tell these couples: it comes down to the four groups or types of sex that every married couple should be experiencing and maintaining. How much of each type? That varies from couple to couple. Some may need more of one type over another because of their personalities. Other will have mostly one type because of their personal schedule. But over the course of a year, the healthiest and happiest sex lives all show elements of all four groups.

The Quick Sex.

This is the category of spontaneous sex, quickies and spur-of-the moment encounters. Quick sex fills in the gaps between more standard sexual encounters, requires little effort, adapts to a busy life schedule and just unfolds or happens on the spot. Think of this as your favorite fast food restaurant. It's there when you need something quick, easy and you know it will always satisfy you, even on short notice. But like fast-food, it's not healthy to survive on it alone. In some cases you may not have a choice ("quick honey, the kids are finally down for their naps") and there is nothing wrong with doing so, but it cannot be the only type of sex you have with your partner.

The Standard Sex.

This would be you normal, non-rushed sexual encounter. Think of your Saturday night special in the bedroom with your spouse. Standard sex is the backbone of any married relationship; it may happen on short notice, or at regular or predetermined intervals. This is like your favorite casual dining restaurant. You're comfortable, you know you'll be happy with the service and you always go for your standard favorite on the menu. It rarely disappoints and you will always make a point of going back on a regular basis, but it is somewhat predictable in its nature in how it will unfold.

The Passionate Sex.

Whether generated from either romantic or purely lustful intentions, passionate sex maintains the fire in your relationship. It is usually characterized by longer sessions, and may be slow and gentle or intense and physical. It can be unpredictable and animal-like; there is a also a deep sense in each partner of focusing on pleasing the other partner. In general, it is more intricate; kind of like dining at a fancy restaurant. Most couples won't feel the need to (or be able to) go to high-end restaurants on a regular basis, but will indulge on special occasions or when they want a break from the usual.

The Gourmet Sex.

Gourmet sex is based on trying new things; it keeps a couple's sex life fresh, fun and prevents stagnation / boredom. This is the time to experiment, to evolve your sex life and grow together as a couple. Examples include trying new positions, playing with games or sex toys, role playing or dabbling with fetishes like BDSM and such. Think of this as the new restaurant that opened in town. You've heard interesting things about it, but you've never been. Why not try it out with your spouse? Worst case, you won't go back. Or maybe it will become a new favorite. You won't know if you don't try.

How well can you and your spouse identify with the four types of sex? You can have more of one type than the other, but it's healthiest to make the effort and dabble from all four over the course of a year.

-BSYNH