Let's say it all together now: SEX TOYS. S-E-X ... T-O-Y-S. Good. Now breathe in deep.
Yes, this is a subject that for some reason makes married couples blush ... as if anyone who dares own an adult pleasure toy should be embarrassed to admit it. Why? We're not exactly sure what social pressures dictate this but it's just common practice to keep the subject under wraps, sometimes even from our own partner.
So across the nation we keep our prized guilty possessions at the back of sock drawers, tucked away in old gym bags or locked boxes, on that high up shelf in the closet or in the nether-reaches of the back end of a bedside table drawer. We all have them, we all use them but we feel the need to keep them proverbially buried in the backyard like Poochy's prized bone (no pun intended).
Let's face it - sex toys have been a part of human sexuality since our evolutionary ancestors started carving dildos out of rocks way back in the Paleolithic era. Not much has changed from our caveman days. Fast forward to last year when Forbes reported that the global sex toy industry was worth over 15 billion dollars. Sexual aids or toys are a natural part of human sexuality and by the looks of it, are not losing any popularity. And who's money is fuelling this burgeoning industry? Well you don't reach fifteen billion dollars worth by selling blow-up dolls to 40-year-old virgins or gag gifts for bachelorette parties. Married couples of all ages are spending serious coin on accessorizing their sex life. Here are five reasons why more and more sex toys are finding their ways into the bedrooms of regular, average married couples:
They can add new or additional sensations to your usual sexual encounter.
One of the main benefits of using a sex toy is that the toy can stimulate you in certain zones in specific ways while your partner (or yourself) works other areas. Areas like nipples, the anus, clitoris for women and testicles for men are goldmines for new sensations and stimulation during a sexual encounter. At the end of the day, a toy may have the ability to maximize the stimulation of these areas without getting tired or distracted by other things that are going on. Toys like vibrators, nipple clamps, anal beads and ball stimulators can be applied during an encounter to enhance what your partner is already doing. Certain couples-friendly vibrators can be worn during vaginal intercourse to provide concurrent stimulation of other erogenous areas.
One important thing to note is that the new or additional stimulation need not be purely physical. Adding a blindfold, handcuffs or similar types of sensory deprivation / restraint toys adds a strong physiological element of power role playing, be it via light BDSM scenarios or role reversal / role playing.
There is nothing better to stimulate a stagnant sex life than introducing something new; and more than not the easiest way is a trip to the sex shop. Whether it be for exploring a new and exciting fantasy, looking for an exotic toy to "spice things up" or embarking in a new fetish, toys are a great and fun way to instantly change your sexual encounters.
Certain toys can be used to make your partner appear "new" to you: these can be costumes, body-shaping lingerie or generally any plethora of items that change the way they look or feel to the touch. Other toys are useful in adding novelty to the roll-out of the encounter: they can be structured games or quickie gimmicks like sex dice, consumables like chocolate paint or massage oils, or other such things to spark different ways of intimately interacting with your partner. Finally, there are the physical toys that can turn your bedroom into a sexual gymnasium like ramps, wedges or slings: these can be used to add fun new sexual positions or techniques to your otherwise been-there-done-that usual routine.
They usually enhance performance.
As a starter, sex toys already serve as an aphrodisiac in that they can inject excitement and arousal via novelty as per the above. There are several toys that are proven to also give the user better sexual performance. For example, ribbed condoms add more pleasure and can give rise to stronger orgasms in women. Cock rings can help men maintain harder erections for longer periods of time. Dildos, extenders or strap-ons can increase depth of penetration if so desired. Other more high-tech lubricants and body oils can increase skin sensitivity or make erogenous zones tingle with additional excitement during intercourse.
There are many great options out there but be sure to look and shop around and read as many impartial, preferably 3rd party reviews on the toy or product before buying.
We need their help to play by ourselves.
While Dr Jen Landa went as far as saying we should masturbate in public at any time of day, before you buy those vibrating panties you may want to try playing with some simpler devices on your own in the comfort of your home first. Reasons for masturbating may vary from an out-of-town partner to making up for a spouse with a slower sex drive, but one thing is certain and that is there are several benefits to going solo... but well, the options are somewhat limited if all you're using is only your own two hands.
As mentioned above, different toys can give different sensations and can help you discover new techniques, erogenous zones and even help you train for building up longer, more intense climaxes so you're in tip-top shape for when it's prime time with your spouse. Check out a local retailer to see what interests you and buy something for yourself, experiment and then decide if it'll be your little secret or something you want to introduce to your partner.
It's never been easier to order your toys discretely.
Part of the huge surge in the sex toy industry can at least be attributed to the rise of discrete order-to-home internet shopping in the early 2000s. While we still see the benefits of walking into a reputable sex shop to ask questions and benefit from the experience of the sales staff, discretion is still the number one priority for most people when buying an adult toy, so online shopping fits the bill.
Most sites nowadays are excellent; there is a wide variety of items with detailed listings, a lot of pictures, product descriptions and reviews with a lot of good information out there. Bonus feature? Most places will ship in a discrete brandless packaging and some will even bill your credit card under a pseudo corporate name, so you're covered if you're afraid you may be morally judged by your postman or VISA rep. And YES it is hot to shop with your partner. Want to ease them into the experience? Get them to run a naughty jar with you for a few months and use the proceeds to buy something that you and your partner discuss and shop around for over time.
Happy playtime everyone.
-BSYNH
