Power role playing is a great tool for couples to not only spice up their sex lives, but to allow each partner to have a turn in driving the sexual encounter to their liking. The mutual benefit begins with the partner pulling the power move: they get to live out the encounter as to their liking, which is not only good for them but it is also a fun way to show their partner what their preferences and interests are. For the submissive partner, there is benefit as well beyond learning a bit more about their partner's sexual complexion, it is basically a session of stress-free sexual activity where there is no pressure to guess what their partner wants or wondering if they are satisfying them.
Often, power role playing is confused as being synonymous with BDSM. While BDSM does use the dominant / submissive roles, it is possible to use more subtle non-BDSM ways in your regular sex life before heading to the sex shop to buy whips and restraints. Here's how you can start benefiting for power sex plays right now:
Stay simple: set a clear rule and give a consequence for not complying.
The first tip to a power play move is setting a simple, clear authoritative rule that puts you in charge. The rule can be something like "now you will do everything I say until I am finished with you". If you feel the response is not enthusiastic enough, apply a small punishment like tugging on genitals, pinching a sensitive area, giving a playful bite or poking a sensitive area (like the back of someone's legs) with your heel. The goal is not to cause pain, but to do something out of your usual stance to show them you mean business. Get your partner to think "whoa - where is this coming from?"
Tell them what you're going to do, and then enforce it.
Once you have set the tone with your partner by the previous step, tell them exactly what is going to happen in as much detail as desired: "tonight, you are taking off your clothes, we will go over here and then I will do this, understood?". As per above, apply the same type of consequence until you are satisfied with the enthusiasm of your agreement. Once the plan is set, you stick to it using your authority.
Physical advantage part one: Undress them while you stay clothed during foreplay.
Strip your partner naked while you keep on items of your choosing (underwear, clothes, lingerie). By having your partner naked in your clothed presence, you are subconsciously creating a sense in them of being exposed, vulnerable as to a certain extent submissive. You get to see / touch / feel all of them, they don't get to for you. In a sexual encounter, these feelings play on their psyche and will enforce the authoritative stance while adding a sense of excitement for both partners as the power playing takes form with a tangible effect.
Physical advantage part two: keep a dominant body language, keep them submissive.
Where possible, maintain physical dominance by using your body stance. This is even more effective when the dominating partner is of lesser physical force as it allows a feeling of extra empowerment to have an advantage over someone who is physically stronger. For example, if you are standing, make it in your plan that your partner remains kneeling or on all fours unless allowed otherwise. You can also forbid your partner to make eye contact with you, face away from you (i.e. standing facing a wall) or be blindfolded so they cannot see what you are doing. If in bed, tell them to keep their eyes closed and hands on the headboard or under their pillow. Maintain these two physical advantages as long as possible through the power role play.
Make them wait.
You proceed at your pace as per what you've set out to do. Add breaks where your partner must wait for you, even better if they are waiting in a compromising situation. Be creative and use pauses to prolong foreplay, administer punishments (stand in the corner for 5 minutes) or fill the evening with non-sexual but scandalous activities to pass the time (while they are naked on all fours have a playful game of fetch with a pair of panties) . Doing so not only makes the power role playing more exciting, but it also makes the fun last longer.
Take my word for it, be sure to try this out!
-BSYNH
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