Our Top 5 Original Valentines' Day Gifts For This Year:

Forget the flowers. Here are some original ideas that should win you the Valentine of the Year award.

Every year Valentine's Day can be a source of stress to couples, for newly married as well as those in the late stages of married life. What gift can I possibly give my spouse to show my appreciation and to make it different from last year? Being original definitely helps and is a great way to keep the feeling romantic and fun. So if you're looking for something new, have a look at these ides below:

 

"Dirty" Underwear

Here's a great one for anyone who is crafty or a do-it-yourself master. Grab a bunch of blank underwear (sexy or comfy, coloured or white, it's your choice) and personalize them with your own sexy photos, messages or dirty innuendo for your spouse. Some starter ideas to get you inspired:

• Use DIY iron-on transfers to stamp the undies with photos of you in strategic places. Use your best facial expressions to be funny or sexy; or pose so it seems like you are helping point out or hold things up. Too shy to grace the fabric with your own beautiful mug? Use photos of other objects that can allude to inside jokes you two share
• Sketch a treasure map or create a step-by-step instruction manual for the body parts in the area
• Use permanent marker to scribble a love note or label on cute terms you use with each other
• Dip your hands in t-shirt colouring and leave hand prints on the butt cheeks 
• Go full tacky: pop cheesy photos of you two all over so deep down under you're never apart :0) 

Treat them to an Aphrodisiac Dinner

 

Going out for dinner to celebrate Valentines' Day is a given -  but why not skip the Olive Garden and make the evening a prelude to one heck of a night when you get home?

Scour local menus well in advance to see who serves dishes laden with sure-fire proven items like oysters (heightens arousal), avocado (energy boost), pine nuts (heavy in energizing zinc), olive oil (hormone production) or pumpkin seeds (testosterone-booster).

And of course don't forget dessert: grab a coffee to up your heart rate and make sure you choose a dish that has heavy doses of chocolate (for a swift dopamine spike), honey (its boron regulates estrogen and testosterone) and any fine fruits such as cherries, bananas, strawberries, watermelon or pomegranate which only help getting the heart pumping and your energy levels up for a long night in the sack.


Bedside Sex Goodie Bag

Set up a mutual gift exchange where you and your partner go on a mission to stuff a small sack with 5 items from a sex shop for under a set dollar amount ($30-40 is usually more than plenty) . Wrap each item individually and keep your gift from the other spouse on your side of the bed. During the course of the following evenings, each draw one gift from the bag to use. To add to the fun, you can write sexy instructions, scenarios or positions to play out on the items.

Give them your Valentine's Night "Audition Tape"

Rather than a boring old card, fire up your computer / phone camera and record a two or three minute fictional "audition tape" video proving to your spouse that you would be their best choice of partner for a steamy Valentine's Night.

Choose a standard setting like your bedroom, sofa or even your workplace (if you dare). Dress the part, then give a monologue or question/answer type interview addressing any subjects you think would make your partner get turned on, chuckle or blush, all with the point of "winning the audition" to be their Valentine's Night fling. Showcase or outright make-up your hidden talents; use props to demonstrate your sexual prowess (recurring popular items are a banana for women and a pudding / yoghurt cup to clean out with your tongue for men) or show-off any signature moves that should help you win. No need to get fancy but if you're handy with basic video-editing software you can really have a lot of fun with the end product.

Then, plop the video confidentially in their email inbox or private social media platform on Valentine's Day morning; or if you prefer just deliver it in person on a tablet or smartphone when you see them.

Need inspiration? Do an internet search on sexy audition tapes and inspire yourself with ones like this funny YouTube classic.

Personalized Boudoir Photography Items

Interest in boudoir (and dude-doir for men) always peaks around Valentines' Day as people look to make themselves the object of  sexy photo gift. We already have tons of ideas here on how to gift boudoir photos as well tips on how to do a boudoir photoshoot yourself if desired.

Going to a professional boudoir photographer can help get better quality photos as well as access to more props: think of a picture of you sprawled out on their favorite automobile or getting the help of some graphic layout magic to become the cover girl on their favorite magazine (special sexy edition of course).

One of the best boudoir photo gifts we've remembered remains a sultry picture taken wearing their spouse's favorite professional sport athlete's jersey (and not much else) ... and then getting it autographed (!!!!) by that same player. For the record, the player wrote a personalized message that also outlined how lucky the recipient was to be married to the star of the photo. Brownie points galore.


Happy Valentines' Day everyone!

-BSYNH

 

 

 

 

Pegging for Action

Why letting the woman "take a turn" can be so much naughty fun.

The art of pegging (anal sex of the male by the female using an object simulating a penis) has been a subject that has gained popularity in recent years. It still remains a fairly "niche" sexual experience that a greater number of women (and men) are exploring in heterosexual relationships, including marriage.

For women, the curiosity factor and novelty is hard to beat: most women that are fans of pegging liken it to no other sexual encounter they have had, as they get to thrust into their partner and watch them moan and groan in pleasure under them (a complete role reversal). The most popular toys are made "double-ended" that allow the woman to feel vaginal and / or clitoral stimulation while performing the act. For men, a growing number of males are identifying themselves as a "bend over boyfriend" and finding pleasure from having the woman drive the sexual experience, all while getting a highly underrated prostate massage that usually leads to an explosive organism few men can beat with straight vaginal intercourse. Various new models of strap-on, remote and couples toys have entered the market due to the high demand of this growing practice, giving couples plenty of options on how to best explore this latest and increasingly popular trend.

Thinking of trying it or at least broaching the subject with your spouse? Well here's what you should know if you're interested:

It's relatively new and it's getting more popular each year

The whole idea of prostrate stimulation in heterosexual men for sexual pleasure / climax entered the modern mainstream back to 1998 with the introduction of the concept of the "bend over boyfriend". Greater coverage, discourse and research continued through most of the 2000s and the practice gained popularity in recent years. A surge in new sex toy products points to the unexpected growth in interest of the practice, both for female fantasy or for male pleasure in the past two years. Pegging was front and center in the media in 2015 as dildos got a cameo is several popular series (including also being a fashion statement for Miley Cyrus ) which then translated to a surge in pegging popularity in 2016 as one of the newest sexual trend in heterosexual couples.


While it's fun for the woman, it's actually most pleasurable for the guy. Talk about it

About one in three women have fantasized about pegging and inversed penetration roles. While the number is lower in men wanting to be on the receiving end, there has still been considerable growth and openness in recent years. Although understandable, the hesitance in males is odd given that anal penetration and prostrate stimulation during sex is actually more highly pleasurable for the male.

Like with any sexual desire or curiosity, communication with your spouse is the key and it's important to have open, honest discussions without judgements. As a minimum, you should be able to talk to your spouse and research the act together (including the heightened stimulation to the male)  to get more information and see if it's something you would want to pursue.

 

You don't need to change your foreplay routine (unless you want to)

One thing to highlight is that pegging does not mean you need to drastically change the way you and your partner get your engines going, or suddenly forego the foreplay. Neither does it mean that if you plan on pegging you suddenly "become the man" and he "becomes the woman". Stepping out of the bathroom dressed with a cannon-barrel dildo strapped to your pelvis isn't the only way to introduce or use pegging in a sexual encounter.

Pegging should be part of a fun evening of sexual intimacy between you and your spouse; when you start and for how long you do it varies on what you both want. You can even have your partner penetrate you vaginally before putting on the toy. If you are using a double-ended sex toy, have your male partner play with you and then insert your end as part of the foreplay as a sign that they are ready and you are clear to go. Doing this will let you know your male partner is sufficiently aroused and is giving you the green light to start on him. A gradual switchover of the penetration position is always an easier, sexier and less awkward approach for beginners.


Start small and lubricate

If your male partner has never experimented with anal sex before, it is best to start small. Look for a product that is small in diameter (think two tampons together) and of the length of the your longest finger. A smooth product is also recommended for beginners and you can experiment with different shapes, curves and ribbing afterwards if desired. In all cases, use lots of lube. This point cannot be stressed enough. Some lubes exist with numbing agents (Proctosedyl or Rectinol) which help if you plan to have a long session.

One recommended way to ease your hesitant or shy male spouse into pegging would be to have him experiment with an anal plug during normal vaginal sex first. Have your male partner insert a small, lubricated anal plug on their own privately before intercourse. Most sex shops will sell anal plugs or prostate massagers with methods of attaching to the base of the male penis; or, go with a low profile model that can be held in place with a strap or specially fitted underwear once fully inserted. Discuss with your partner and have them choose a size of their liking and try it a few times during vaginal sex so they get more familiar with the additional anal / prostate sensations during climax. You can then convert to having the toy on you at a time where he feels more comfortable with the added stimulation and also knows what to expect.


Pegging doesn't mean either of you is suddenly gay, bisexual or an ultra-kink

One common misconception is that pegging means that either (or both) of you is showing signs of homosexuality (not that there is anything wrong with that) when nothing can be farther from the truth. Anal play does not exclusively happen in homosexual attraction; the anal area including the surrounding skin is a highly sensitive erogenous zone and male anal play allows stimulation of the prostate, the closest equivalent in a male to clitoral stimulation. Wanting to drive your partner crazy with stimulation of these areas (or having it done to yourself) has no link to a reduction in your heterosexuality.

On the other hand, while pegging may mean you're more sexually adventurous it does not necessarily mean that you automatically fall into a secret, underground kinky sex lifestyle. Sex toys used for pegging are available in most common sex shops and are destined for use by everyday couples; sales figures would indicate that the practice is becoming much more mainstream than originally thought. While the use of prostate stimulators and strap-on dildos are common in heavier kink encounters, it is not mutually exclusive and not every use of pegging means it has to be a female-on-male kinky rape fantasy.

It's becoming one of the most private, intimate and confidential sexual acts between couples today 

A recent article labeled pegging as the ultimate act to save for marriage. With most couples in present times already having multiple partners before meeting their spouse, the "male anal virginity" in heterosexual couples has become the new holy grail of finally popping a cherry with that special someone. And to be honest, who else but your spouse should you share this new experience with?


Happy trails, my sexy readers

-BSYNH

 

 

Don't Bring on the Pity Sex

What to do when your partner wants it but you don't?

It happens to everyone at some point in their relationship. You get a sexual advance form your partner but you're not just in the mood to reciprocate. Care has to be taken on how to treat these types of situations as they can cause emotional damage to men as well as women if not handled well. Here are our tips to help navigate these waters.

 

Try to avoid the situation in the first place

The best way to avoid being put in that situation would be to send clear signals to your spouse that it is currently not the best time to go looking for action. Communication is the key and it is important to speak what's on your mind at all times. If you are tired or stressed and just not in the mood, tell them in advance at supper or in another casual forum: "I'm so tired, want to just lounge and watch a movie tonight?" or "I'm so stressed for my big presentation at work tomorrow. I think I'll need to go over the slides after the kids are in bed".

Besides talking, you can also use body language such as changing your clothes or appearance to reflect your current mood (example: putting on sleepwear or curling up on the sofa under a blanket with a warm cup of tea)

Proactively conveying your mood to your spouse or saying what's on your mind is much better than spilling the beans after you've been asked.


It's OK to ask them to do something to put you in the mood

Before resigning to a "no" or giving in to the passive quickie, see if there is something they can do on their end to help put you into the mood. It may be an old favorite foreplay item, a sure-fire sex position or something new and exciting you want to try. Think along the lines of:

• "Sure, if you're up for first doing that thing to me with your lips like the other time" 
• "OK, but are you up for slipping into that little outfit that really turns me on?" 
• "How about this time you talk dirty to me and let me know what you want me to do to you. That would really turn me on"
• "Yeah! ... but how about if we try something new I read about..."

Be creative and fun! Often times I will hear back that the hesitant partner surprisingly got aroused with a little bit of effort from their partner and just by finding a different way of doing things. If you are shy and don't communicate this, you (and your partner) will never know.


Don't lie

Lying to your partner to avoid hurting their feelings may seem like a good thing at the moment, but it is not something that is healthy for your relationship. Saying you have a sudden headache isn't just condescending but it also may leave your spouse insecure and feeling distrustful. Remember, sex is an emotional need; as with all feelings it is something that needs to be acknowledged and addressed, and not simply blown off by a white lie.

Don't ever say you're not feeling it ... but you'll do it for them as a favor

Oh PLEASE avoid the pity sex. It's not just demeaning but it's a major turn-off for men and especially women. Playing the hero and letting your partner know you're "taking one for the team" isn't just pompous, it's an invitation for an awkward encounter or a great start for a potential argument.


Hold the Oscar, you don't need to pretend you're all into it

On the flip side, don't think you need to just be quiet on how you really feel and just pretend you're in to it. Unless you're an experienced porn star, your partner will most likely know that you're faking or as a minimum figure out you're not as into it as you say. Remember, the body doesn't lie.

Try to find a way to have fun for the both of you

Ok now you've been asked, so look at it this way: you know your partner is horny for you and what's hotter than that? If you're not up for doing it all, propose something that would be fun for the two of you. You can explain that you're not in for "the usual" and suggest something that would satisfy them but would be fun for you to do. Some ideas:

• Propose using something else like your fingers, mouth or a toy
• Watch them play with themselves while you enjoy the show, then help them finish off
• Use lubricants or other products to speed things up
• Spice things up - grab the handcuffs and ask your spouse to have their way with you

Find a fun way to reschedule

If you're really not up for anything of the sort, avoid blowing off your partner with a flat-out "no" or making up a fake excuse. Instead, let them know the real reason behind your decision and find a way to reciprocate the feelings at a later time.

One tip I always like to give is to make a "sexy raincheck". Tell them the reason why you really can't right now but then grab a notepad and scribble a note or sketch (in secret) of a sexy or dirty thing to do at a later time. Tape it shut or put it in an envelope and mark "do not open until ... (tomorrow, Saturday night, etc)"  Give it to them and promise them you'll make time on that date and they won't regret having waited for what's in the envelope. Finish it off with a smooch on the lips or a solid hug.

Make love, not rejection :0)

-BSYNH