A hot topic these past years has been the subject of sex tapes: whether it be unauthorized leaks of various high-profile stars, a way to reward YouTube followers , revenge porn or romcom movies on the subject (thanks for the laughs Cameron Diaz) it seems almost everyone out their is busy filming themselves doing it.
We've brought in our industry expert / insider who goes undercover from her real life by the name of Lana to get her advice on what is really going on in the studios errrr bedrooms of the nation.
"Well, for starters sex tapes have now become known as the ultimate selfie" she states. "A whole new generation is growing up and dating in the Snapchat age, where first base is now a bra pic. The perceptions of what is acceptable to do in front of the camera and what to share publicly for this new wave that is becoming of age is completely different than all those who came before them."
And right she is. Sex on video (i.e. porn) has exploded thanks to the internet, but there has a been a shift of videotaped sexual acts being reserved only for sites and communities of perverts in the seedy underbelly of the dark web and has become more mainstream. A recent survey showed that one in three women know watch online porn in a regular fashion, and stats from sites such as PornHub confirm that at least 26% of its global viewers are in fact women, with Brazil reaching the heights of 35%.
"Let's face it, there is an excitement to being able to watch yourself in a private, intimate act - and it's just as fun to know you're being recorded by the all-seeing-eye while performing it. It's hot." Lana continues with solid advice for current married couples: "Most married couples today dated and hit the peak of their sexual exploration in the time before Instagram and selfies. What's better than looking at what's out there and embracing modern technology to rekindle and relaunch your passion for each other? It's always god to find new ways to flirt and explore with your partner, if you've been married for many years"
So what exactly can we prescribe as a video aphrodisiac? Have a look at some of the ideas below.
Make a sexumentary with your partner
OK, so not everyone is ready to hit the screen as a moaning, groaning, porn star. Yes, sex tapes can be awkward to film and sometimes awkward to watch. The first question is to ask yourself what you want to do with the sex tape? Would you actually watch it and keep it? If you realize you'd want to start small with something a bit more watchable, make a sexumentary (sex documentary) with your partner. Basically, interview each other in a provocative way on the most personal and taboo subjects you can think of - it will be sexy, fun and can get your motor revving while maybe even having a few laughs. It's something you can hang onto and won't be too shy to go back and look at years later.
You can film it together sitting or lying down, or taking turns being behind the camera, or split up with some questions on a note card and record each part separately then put it together at the end to watch ensemble. It can be as explicit as you want it to be, and no need to be naked - you can be dressed chill or at various stages of provocative undress.
Some popular topics of conversation or "interview questions" are:
- What was the best / favorite time you both had sex and why?
- Best vacation sex and where?
- Dirtiest thing you both ever did
- Your spouse's best move on you
- Any hidden talents your spouse doesn't know about yet?
- Favorite body parts and what to do with them
- Do your best impression of your orgasm face (or your partner's)
- Sex bloopers: remember any times things didn't go exactly as planned for you two?
"A sexumentary isn't just sexy and fun while filming it, it's also a great souvenir of some of the sexy memories that will never make it into the family photo album. You're not going to be young forever; so without going full porno you can use video as a way to keep those personal and intimate memories alive."
Film your boudoir photoshoot
Are you planning on taking a boudoir photoshoot at some point? Check with your photographer if they can have an assistant film the experience for you (or worst case allow you to bring a camera-savvy best friend along).
Thanks to the boudoir shoot setup, lighting, poses and makeup will be perfect for filming and you can generate a sharp "behind the scenes" video. If your boudoir photoshoot is a gift for your spouse, this makes for a perfect bonus feature to show along with your pictures. Not only will you look smoking hot, you can have the cameraperson ask you questions or just talk on your own during the filming about your spouse, what look you're trying to achieve with your poses and what you hope their reaction will be.
Your spouse getting to watch a video of you smouldering in various lingerie poses? I think you'll have two thumbs up.
Join the fun on adult sites
Wait, did you just suggest to married couples to join an "adult" ... i.e. porn ... site?
"Hold on, porn sites have changed a lot since the old days. While yes they're still definitely about explicit content, amateur communities are popping up everywhere and driving better sites where they are much cleaner and have become more mainstream compared to even just 10 years ago"
Yes, good point - definitely the landscape has changed. Sites like PornHub have succeeded by adopting an open, free environment that remains safe and respectful for amateurs. Loosely based on a YouTube style video upload and search philosophy, PornHub will pay registered (for free) amateurs a portion of ad revenue in $100 increments when their videos are viewed online.
The company itself is anything but shady: it runs open and transparently and has embarked on socially responsible endeavours such as donating to breast cancer, helping the environment by planting trees and recently offering to help shovel out Boston from a major snow storm. "It is a far cry from the sites run from off-continent servers that bombard you with pop-up windows, lewd content and ask non-stop for credit card numbers"
The surge in use by married couples on newer-style adult sites as both viewers and contributors of content is surprising, but not uncommon. PornHub received 23 billion worldwide visits (yes billion) in just 2016 alone, racking up a total of 4.6 billion (yes, again billion) hours of porn viewed on screens across the globe. Overall, people have uploaded and watched over 92 billion videos. Popular is an understatement.
"With the things being posted on Snapchat, Instagram and other social media sites these days, people's perceptions have changed towards taking part in uploading sex tapes or amateur porn as they have already put so much of themselves out there. By the time the new generation has entered the mature stages of adulthood, chances are they've already shared intimate videos or photos with someone for viewing pleasure. Yes, part of it is narcissism, but we can see that attitudes are changing and there is something hot, exciting and - dare I say- normal about being more open and public with nudity and what goes on in your sex life.
Even if you are shy, there is nothing preventing you from joining in by hiding your true identity in these videos and concealing your account with an online alter-ego. It is easy to make yourself unrecognizable, but you and your spouse will always know and have this sexy secret that is just a search engine click away. Couples looking to add excitement are drawn to that."
Even if you are shy, there is nothing preventing you from joining in by hiding your true identity in these videos and concealing your account with an online alter-ego. It is easy to make yourself unrecognizable, but you and your spouse will always know and have this sexy secret that is just a search engine click away. Couples looking to add excitement are drawn to that."
Lana is right in that statistics show that it is definitely something that more couples are crossing off their so-called sex bucket list and continues to trend upwards in popularity.
"It comes back to what I mentioned before: why are you and your spouse interested in pulling out the video camera in the first place? If you're OK just filming and deleting right after or keeping it private, that's fine. But for most people who setup the camera they want the satisfaction and excitement that comes from knowing that other people will be watching them, provided they are not discovered and embarrassed. That is what these sites now offer and why they are booming in popularity."
Explore Cybersex
Most couples in their thirties or later have missed the social window of sexting during dating phases and are still cybersex virgins with their partner.
"There is enough technology out there now to allow you to be intimate your spouse anytime, anywhere." It has become so prolific, and quite frankly, awesome, that psychologists are becoming alarmed by the high rate of cybersex addiction.
"Cybersex is great and so easy because of its accessibility" continues Lana "addiction isn't a problem if you're remaining monogamous; if your spouse is into cyber, let them do it with you and see how fun it is. The advantage is really that unlike physical sex, you can do it literally anywhere at any time, all that limits it are your inhibitions."
Whether you're on a business trip across the continent or coinciding your lunch breaks for a virtual quickie, there are many fun ways to use the video chat services already built into your phone, tablet or computer for cybersex. If you're up for taking it one step further, products have come out that allow remote vibrator control via smartphone apps so you can make your partner walk the walk while you talk the talk from the other side of the globe.
Give the camera to a professional ... and we mean that type of professional
Are you pulling in someone to help spice things up or make foreplay a bit more interesting? What can make a soft threesome even hotter? Bring in a video camera. While an escort, stripper or your local professional dominatrix will not want to appear on camera, they are usually more than OK with filming you and your spouse. If you're looking at making it a night to remember, why not actually have the video to prove it?
"One of the hottest things I heard done was a fellow BDSM worker who was asked by a couple to play and film them in the dungeon she worked at. She 'forced' the couple to do dirty sex acts on each other for her viewing pleasure while she videotaped them and played with herself. How hot must it have been to have the lens on you while being made to do all these naughty things by someone else? And how hot must it be to be able to play back that video afterwards and hear her voice again while seeing yourselves acting out a real-life porn situation? "
Here's hoping you can make good use of that video camera (may want to be careful to not mix up your home movies with your kid's baseball finals though).
Camera ready ... annnnnd ... action!
-BSYNH
-LL
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