This time is always a busty one for me - an influx of people seeking help or advice as they gear up to spend the holidays balancing preparations, extended family, hosting parties, dealing with the expectations of your children and in some cases working through the holiday period. It is a time that can cause great stress between couples, which is sad when thinking that it is a time to be together, celebrate together and appreciate each other.
So what to do when you're dashing around from one relative's house to another, dealing with family or surviving another outing with tired and over-stimulated kids? Here's the advice I give all couples who are feeling the pressure of the holidays:
Make it a point to spend quality time together with your spouse.
Start a tradition that only you and spouse will share at this time of year. Sipping hot cocoa by the fire after the kids are in bed? Opening your spouse's present when it's just the two of you? This will help you both acknowledge the importance of not only celebrating Christmas with your kids or family, but with each other as well.
Plan a schedule that works and stick to it
A lot of times couples will fold under the stress of visiting family, hosting parties, and accepting every invitation thrown at them to make everyone happy. The best way to deal with this to plan your Christmas break schedule with your spouse and your kids. Find a calendar and log all the events you will either be attending or hosting, including the location and names of people. Ask the others to keep it up to date. As the date approaches, sit down together and look at the calendar and see if the plan makes sense. Are you spending too much time on the road? Hosting way to often? Spending too much time with certain people as opposed to others? Discuss with your partner and family and re-arrange your schedule so that it works best.
Set clear expectations on what the gift situation will be with your spouse
Getting a gift for a spouse is one of the biggest subjects for stress this time of year. Going too big or too small can make you look foolish or your partner feel uncomfortable. You can make the task easier for both of you by communicating beforehand on what to do for gifts this year and either write a list of possible gifts together, agree on a theme for the presents this year, or a spending limit.
Take advantage of the extra help if it's available
Family in town and staying with you? Spending a few days at the in-laws? If you have kids, these helping hands may be just what the doctor ordered to let you and your spouse slip away for a few hours and take a breather, just the two of you. Don't be shy to ask family or friends to either watch the kids or take them out somewhere and you can have a quick date with your spouse.
Don't stop your sex life because of the holidays
One of the worst mistakes a couple can make is putting their sex life on hold during the Christmas break because "it's just too busy". If anything, you and you spouse should be doing the opposite and making this holiday your own. Remember how we wrote about creating your own special sexy traditions in our article a few weeks ago)? Well here's your chance to get into the spirit of the season!
Happy holidays everyone :0)
-BSYNH
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